COUPLES

I am trying to adjust... but sometimes it still bothers me. The whole feeling of being the 3rd wheel... or 5th wheel... or whatever number - Me being there makes it an odd number. I suppose 5th is better than 3rd.

To be the 3rd wheel means there are two women and the poor husband doesn't get any company. At least if I am the 5th wheel there are already two men, so I can just chime in with the women in their conversation.

But, it is odd. More than just an odd number, for some reason I feel odd. I guess it is that whole environment of "couples".... and there I am.

Do you know what else has become harder? Having company for dinner. What couple wants to come over for dinner? The poor husband has to engage in conversation with two women or the children. There is no counter-part for 'testosterone based' conversation. Unless I invite TWO couples for dinner... but then you have to make sure they are both solid shows. Because to have a no-show, leaves the one man out. And you have to make sure they are couples whose male counterparts enjoy each other.

I don't like not being a couple some days.

Lesson Manual: How to Be a Widow
6. Be confident in being you. Because now you are not defined by the 'couple' that you are - but only by you and who you are. (This is why as a widow I found myself drawn to the song, "Who I Am". You have to define yourself)