Thursday, April 15, 2010


Elder F. Burton Howard of the Seventy said, "“If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.”

Think about that. Do you have something that is precious to you? A family heirloom, a set of china or silver, something you collect, or worked hard to save to obtain? How do you treat that? How do you treat your spouse?

As the saying goes... you don't know what you got, 'till its gone... I would not agree completely with that, as I knew what I had. But I do wonder if I treated it as carefully as I should have. I know when I look around me or listen to people talking about their spouses, it is too often that I cringe. Too often that I want to say... "What would you do if they were taken from you tomorrow? Would you regret the words you speak?"

If you think back to the day you got married, how did you feel about that person standing beside you? If through the regular trials that come in time, you have in any way grown more distant, rather than closer... I want you to know that you have lost your perspective. You have something that could be wonderful right before you - but are you choosing to make it wonderful or are you choosing to let it go the way of the wind?

I was with a couple friends on Sunday, both of whom are divorced. Both of whom miss the companionship and have a desire to be married. Marriage is good. We can make it great, so why do so many people take advantage of the gift that they have and choose to be selfish? Choose to think more of their own happiness, than the happiness of their spouse. Don't they understand that by seeking another's happiness, they will find their own and will find joy in their marriage?

A wise friend once told me the secret to a strong marriage is to BRAG.

B - Believe that it will last. Don't think like the world.. that divorce is always an option. Believe in marriage.
R - Respect. Show respect always. Never speak negative about your spouse
A - Affection. Always... hold hands, touch each other tenderly
G - Gratitude. Be grateful for what they do. Even if at first you have to look hard for something - find those things and let them know you are grateful. More will come in time.

Chris loved me. Truly cared about me and desired for me to develop my talents and pursue my interests. It was often not convenient for him, in fact often inconvenient – but he was always willing to find a way. He made sure my needs were taken care of and thought about what those needs were before I ever voiced them. He believed in me, and he inspired me to know more and be stronger.

As a widow, I miss my marriage. I miss the physical and emotional support my husband was to me. And this is IN ADDITION to missing the man. I guess for me the way I try to make up for this is to try and provide opportunities for others to "go out" to have regular "date nights". Call me... I will babysit. Drop the kids off. It really does bring me joy to know I may be helping another couple fall more in love. That another couple is having the opportunity to enjoy each other. Time is precious. Don't waste it.


  1. Kim, that is what I am always telling people...communicate, make time for each other and make your marriage your top priority....even before your children. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say.

  2. Thank you, Kim. I will re-read this when I am less teary-eyed & follow your advice...very wise.