Monday, October 10, 2011


I think it was probably perfect that I was ornery and crabby to the dear man the night he proposed.  It sets the stage for life in all reality... right?   He cannot say he didn't know what he was getting into.  :)

We had a perfect wedding.  He, me and our six kids, a friend to marry us and two friends to witness.  Right in the living room. A dinner with just us and the kids followed in the dining room and a couple months later a summer picnic to celebrate our new life, our new beginning on our lawn.

I am so grateful for him.  I try everyday to not take him for granted and to remember all the good he brings to my life.

He is a blessing.  But it has been an emotional roller coaster... in a new way.  I worked for years building up systems and structure that kept me standing.  Now I have to change those systems and knock down that structure and build new.  It is hard.  Really hard.  He is tender and allows me to move slowly and listens to me cry about closing bank accounts, even though there is no way he understands why that makes me cry (I don't even get it 100%).  I just know and feel that I am making myself very vulnerable again.  Vulnerable to loss.  But it is worth it. Because every day I have joy and love.

It comes again.  It really comes again.

Now... years of 'bad' behaviors used to help me survive... I need to learn to thrive everyday.  It is a journey... and I'm not sure how to really get there.  A journey many of us need to take. We endure hardships and come out the other side stronger... but not always thriving.  Just happy to survive.  Help me learn how and share your wisdom to EVERYDAY THRIVING!