Wednesday, March 10, 2010


If widowhood does something for you, it helps you see clearly every weakness you have. I can no longer allow my husband to stand strong in the areas I was weak in – I must stand there as well. I must stand in the wide open realization that I am not good at what I am doing.

In his book How To Succeed With People, Stephen R. Covey says, “Patience accepts the reality of life that in all things there is a process, a step one, step two, step three process that cannot be ignored or bypassed.”

The very act of healing requires patience. The process was and is so up and down. There are good days and on those good days you wish that you were there. That you have made it. That you are done! But, the next day you may wake up and find it is a bad day. You aren’t done yet. There is still more pain to feel. Sometimes I just want to say, ENOUGH. No more pain, no more bad days.

I have learned patience in this process. I have seen there is a step one and then two. I can not ignore it or bypass it. I must embrace it. On the days that are my good days… I look for ways to enrich my life so I can thrive. On bad days I allow myself to feel the emotions. To honor them. To know that today is just a day that I can crawl into bed and feel miserable for whatever amount of time is possible. I don’t ignore it and try to press forward. I feel it, and press forward. It is a step and I can not skip it.

Lesson Manual: How to Be a Widow
3. Be patient with the development of patience. It will come. Have faith in your own unseen potential.

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