Thursday, March 11, 2010


When I go to the gym and lift weights, I pick a particular weight and start my reps. Often 10 reps is pretty easy. I then start my second set and it is more difficult, but again I am able to do it. By the third set my muscles are tired and it is almost too difficult to finish the last rep.

I feel like that often with my patience. As I start the day I am usually doing alright... but as the weights of the day and the number of times I am faced with a trial tied to widowhood increase, my ability to be patient is exhausted just like my muscles when lifting weights.

The concept, I am sure, is that as this happens, my patience increases, just as my muscles grow when I lift weights...

But some days I wonder if I am increasing in patience enough... because I don't know if I have the patience life demands for me to be a good mother. As I feel pulled a hundred different directions, am I able to focus on the most important responsibility of the day and work effectively?

Not yet... but I suppose I am better than I was a year ago. (For instance... as I write this and the kids are running around despite the dozen petitions for them to go to bed... I haven't raised my voice yet - of course the kids would probably not agree with that statement)

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