Friday, March 12, 2010


What will my children remember me as?

I wonder that often and also wonder if I am ensuring the future of America's Psychologists with the parenting I am doing.

I wonder if my children will remember me laughing. I laugh a lot. Most psychologists would probably say too much. But, I laugh. When faced with the option to laugh or cry... I will usually laugh. But will the children remember me laughing or will they remember the times that the patience was gone?

Will they remember me curled up in my bed from the days that just weren't good days, or will they remember us going hiking?

Will they remember the times I came home to a broken window or light and my only response was shaking my head or will they remember the times I was exhausted and I would yell at them for hardly anything?

Will they remember that I tried to read scriptures every night with them or will they remember the nights I forgot?

Will they look back at the times we drove by their father's grave - and I would tell them all to wave to their father as good times or that I was losing my mind?

Will they remember me as someone who was different when their dad was here than I was when he was gone? And will that different be good or bad?


  1. They will remember it all and will love you more for knowing you were and are a real person with real emotions and feelings, and for allowing them to share in them with you.

    I sometimes think how lucky my daughter is that she will have a lot of memories of me laughing when I have so few, almost none, of my mother laughing. Your kids are blessed to have a mom with patience, no matter how much or how little, who is strong and can laugh at life's challenges. Joy in life is a choice, Kim, and it seems to me you are making the right one.

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  3. Of course they will remember all the good and fun times. Just don't ask them right now. They are too young to give a thoughtful answer.

    I asked my girls recently why they loved being my kids. Of course being the self proclaimed "Queen of Fun" I thought they might mention the fun times we've had: chasing rainbows, visiting every children's museum we could get to, spending days swimming in pools, at beaches, or in creeks, spontaneous half day pick ups from school to go on one adventure or another. The answer they gave me...."You cook us dinner." "Anything else?", I asked. "Ummmm.....and you love us."

    Again , I caution, don't ask them just yet.