Wednesday, February 24, 2010

LUNCH WH***

About a year after my husband's death I had several friends wanting to fix me up and some guys just pursuing me. I was attempting to dodge it all. To be perfectly honest I didn't date much before I had married - so I wasn't too anxious to jump into it after his death.

I finally cracked under the pressure. I think I was comforted by the fact that I was leaving my job - so I could provide my work number and it wouldn't matter as I would not have that number much longer.

For everyone that wanted to fix me up, I informed them: lunch only. This was a safe way of going about this as: 1. I would not have to arrange for daycare in the evening. 2. I could always have a meeting I just HAD to hurry to. 3. I was flexible enough that, should it go well, I could take a long lunch.

I refer to this period in my life as my lunch wh*** (I am keeping this clean for the children) days. I think I had half a dozen dates in about two weeks. Sadly, I can not tell you the names of most of the individuals I went out with in those two weeks. I was luckily able to forget a lot of what happened. But, I did learn some valuable things:

1. On a first date you should not spend the entire conversation talking about what a wonderful husband you were - but that your ungrateful ex-wife never appreciated you. I don't care.

2. On a first date you should not divulge to the other party your desire to have children with them. Freaky

3. On a first date you should not tell the other party how you make sure your young children are fully aware of what a horrible person their mother is. Yikes

4. On a first date should you find that you are having to replay the entire details of the first time you met the other person and the other party has zero recollection - just give it up and move on... Don't keep trying to make them remember. Sorry buddy - you just weren't that memorable!

5. On a first date you should not tell the other party how God told you they were the one you would marry. This type of information should be saved for your wedding night... if you ever make it that far!

So, the good news is I learned a lot as my run being a lunch wh***!

All of these men when they inquired for my phone number were given my work cell number that I would only have for a couple more weeks. I think that is one of the easiest ways to get rid of men! Change your number, and your job, and your address! Yes, I did all three!

2 comments:

  1. Jenn,

    I see from your profile you are married. Nurture that relationship. Love it. Love him. So you never find yourself in the dating world again. ever. It is a scary place! When your husband gets home from work tell him that Oprah told Kim who told you... that you should kiss for a minimum of one second for every hour he was gone. Count. It's fun....... gosh I miss that!

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