Sunday, February 21, 2010

BECAUSE OF WHAT I AM (a widow that is)

Last year a friend’s husband was diagnosed with stage-four cancer. He had to go through an intense round of chemotherapy, was very ill and the future was unknown. My heart reached out to the family as I could clearly understand the trial they were facing. Part of me wanted to call and offer my help or just a listening ear. Another part of me (the part that won over) did not.

Do people want to see me… ME… when their husband is sick? I felt like seeing me is a big reminder of what could be. I did not feel as though I would bring hope – I would bring a gray cloud. I thought about them and prayed for them every day. Mid-summer I ran into my friend. I gave her a hug and inquired to how they were all holding up. I let her know how much I thought of them and prayed for them. I was grateful for that moment.

Her husband’s health has gotten better and he just recently returned to work.

There is something unjust about being in a position where you want to help, but because of who you are and what you are – feeling as though your presence would not be a lift to their spirits.

1 comment:

  1. I recently heard someone say that God will turn our test into a testimony, if only we allow Him to do so.

    Strength of spirit and hope are never a gray cloud and sometimes a hug is the only bit of sunshine someone sees in her day. When you feel you want to reach out... do it. Knowing you aren't alone is comforting and seeing a survivor of trials worse than your own inspires you to believe you can make it through the dark times and back into the light as well.

    You are an amazingly strong woman and I'm so glad you are blogging because I feel I'm getting to know you better and more importantly, that your faith will lead others to God.