Tuesday, February 16, 2010


I have a pretty good sense of self. Anyone who knows me well will agree with that statement. I think it was pretty easy to gain and maintain while married to someone who loved me, being a stay-at-home mom and being able to plan my days to be filled with activities that were enriching to the children and to me. I lived a life that was full of success.

Widowhood has been a different journey in terms of maintaining this positive feeling. I feel as though I have failed repeatedly... and that then while I am down someone is kicking me and I just keep sinking. Somehow as a widow the doors have been open to way too many people for them to tell me exactly all the mistakes I am making. I guess people figure that since I don't have my husband to keep me in line, I am not capable of making good decisions. So, they give their two cents as to what THEY think I should do and how that would keep me from failing repeatedly. This was especially the case in the first couple years. Lots of opinions of how I should be living my life.

I watched the movie Annapolis not too long ago. At one point in the movie they are welcoming the new plebes to Annapolis. The speaker says, "Many of you have only known success your whole life. This year you will know failure. Because failure is a much better teacher than success." As I contemplated that powerful statement, I knew the truthfulness of it. In my life, I have grown to be a better mother, a better person as I have experienced failure these past few years. My failures have made me stronger.

Part of this journey is forgiving and not harboring any resentment for those who have only had good intentions in giving me their 'wise advice'. I don't think anyone shared without the best of intentions. I hope (and still believe) that the big decisions I made, I made correctly. I involved my Father in Heaven, counseled with Him and did not get too far off path.

Yes, failures have been the best teachers. I hope that I can be a good student.


  1. This message is so powerful and true. This speaks to the very core of why I've grown to admire you so much these past 5 years.

  2. I don't think I am clear... Are you saying you have seen me FAIL a lot and learn from it?