GRATITUDE

Gratitude is trait I am far from perfecting. My kids are very good at pointing that out to me. It is unfortunately in my nature to overlook the good that was done and focus on what wasn't done. I may ask my kids to do a series of things and without expressing gratitude for what they DID, I note what they did NOT do. I am working on this. I am glad though, that I can say (of course Chris is not here to say otherwise) that I was grateful for the good husband I had.

Chris loved me. He truly cared about me and desired for me to develop my talents and pursue my interests. It was often not convenient for him, in fact often inconvenient - but he was always willing to find a way. He made sure my needs were taken care of and thought about what those needs were before I ever voiced them. One tender moment I will always remember was when he was ill. It was following an intense surgery that had him in the hospital for three weeks. He was still very weak and in pain. I was headed to work and it occurred to Chris that because I had made several trips to the hospital while he was there (50 miles each direction - and I drove up one to three times a day) the oil and other fluids should be checked before I did any more driving. Chris was not concerned about the car - he was concerned that I would not have any problems while on the road for work that day.

I clearly remember him painfully bent over walking out to the car. In my always irreverent way, I jokingly told him to hurry it up - 'cause I had places to be. He just smiled and kept on. He then carefully checked over all those things that I hope are getting checked now when I take my car in for service. He was a tremendous emotional strength to me. He believed in me and he inspired me to be better.

What I miss most... he apologized for me when my comments were too brash with others. :)

I am so glad that ours was not a marriage that took his death or his absence for me to be grateful, I was grateful for him every day.