Sunday, February 7, 2010

THE EYES OF THE MOMENT

Disclaimer: I support organ donation. I think it is such a wonderful gift to be able to improve or save another's life. I would hope that, should I die early in life, any of my organs could be used to help another.


My husband passed away at 10:00 pm. I had stayed with him at the hospital until about 9:00 pm. His whole family was there, it was obvious his time was coming soon. My kids were at home with my girlfriend who had become their second mother over the previous nine months, so I decided to head home and relieve her. I received the phone call that he passed minutes after I walked in the door.

My girlfriend offered, and I easily accepted her offer, to stay the night with me. I made some phone calls to let my family know, sent my boss a text and told him I was forwarding my work cell calls to him. Then we went to bed. I fell asleep quickly, and had a night of wild dreams. Until the phone rang at 2:00 am.

"Mrs. Wawro, we are calling from.. blah blah blah.. we are wondering if you would be interested in donating your husband's eyes"

"You want his eyes"

"Yes"


At that moment my thoughts returned to earlier in the day. To the moment that my husband woke up to say goodbye to his children who were leaving. The final goodbye. The moment the children walked out the door he had a seizure. I loved his eyes. He had big brown beautiful eyes... but that moment... the moment that he was seizing.. It was frightening. There was such pain, deep pain and struggling in his eyes.

"You want his eyes" I repeated.

"Yes, that is the organ we are interested in"

I looked at the clock. "I'm sure this is time sensitive, but do I need to decide this moment?" I was so groggy and wasn't sure if I was really hearing this.

"We could call back at 6am"

"That would be good, thank you"

I hung the phone up and laid there. My girlfriend didn't say much, just waiting if I wanted to talk. I tried to close my eyes, but my thoughts were now haunted with the vision of his eyes earlier that day. So, I laid there. Then I started to giggle. And I couldn't stop laughing. Was this for real? Someone just called me at 2am and asked if they could have my husband's eyes. Really? I guess it was laugh or cry... and I am more of a laugher.

As I laid there for the next four hours I was in and out of sleep. When the moments of sleep came they were haunted with visions of his eyes earlier that day.

The call came as expected at 6am. I said no. I don't know why. But, I said no.

7 comments:

  1. I'm glad that you are so willing to share your experiences. I was glad to get to know you more on Saturday. You are a great lady and I want to be just like you when I grow up. :)

    -Erin Papa

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  2. Sorry, also wondering if it would be ok if I put a link to your blog from my blog.
    -Erin papa

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  3. Yes, Link away.... I love your blog. You may have to teach me a thing or two so I can make mine look cool too!!! I am a little bit of a blog dummy!

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  4. Maybe it's the Casting Crowns song playing as I read this... But it brought tears. You are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing. -s

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  5. My husband was an organ donor. It was very important to him to do this. It was on his drivers license and I really don't know what happened on the day that he left this world..why there was confusion. It took awhile for the anyone to contact me the day he died and it took several hours for me to get to the hospital after his death but at that time I was told that he could not be a donor as he had been gone for several hours. I discussed with the hospital that he was supposed to be a donor and I don't really remember their explanation as to why it didn't happen but what I do know is that what they could use were his eyes. I did allow that and I hope that whoever got my husband's beautiful blue eyes can see life as happy as he did. Scott believed that he was blessed and I was certainly blessed to have had him for 28 years...God Bless you and may you find peace and happiness in your life..

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  6. Thanks for sharing Brenda. I reflect back on that so often... it is just a regret that I have that I did not say yes that day. Do you find yourself looking people in the eyes a little more? I think I might... just to see if those eyes look familiar! :0) Have you seen the movie Return to Me? I love that movie... but you have to be a chic flick lover to like it.

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  7. Hi, Kim. I've spent some time the past few days reading your blog, and for whatever reason, this is the post which sticks out the most to me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and memories. You are a wonderful woman.

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