Sunday, January 31, 2010


I have been to my fair share of viewings and funerals in my life. There are very few where when I saw the body laying there - that I didn't think.. wow.. that just doesn't look like the same person. Why is that? It's the same body. I guess it is the fact that it is JUST a body. No spirit, no personality... just a body. As strange as it may seem at another's funeral - it was even more bizarre when it was my husband I was looking at.

When I first saw my husband's body it was so strange. It wasn't him... or was it? This has really happened... hasn't it. He is no longer here... just this body.

I had one viewing and then short calling hours right before the funeral. The evening viewing was packed but before the funeral very few came. So, there were a couple times that I was the only one in the room - as everyone else was running around preparing for the funeral. There I stood all alone. Staring at the bad make-up job... wondering why they thought peach lipstick was a good idea... wondering what color his skin would be if they hadn't caked on the foundation... and feeling like it looked as though he was heavier... how much preservatives did they pump in him? Do you think he even feels real anymore? He sure didn't look real. So... I reached out and poked him.

Cold. Jello-like. Weird. **shiver**

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