Wednesday, January 27, 2010


Yes. I am.

If you read up on it... you will find that it is a normal part of the grieving process. Well... then.... I am going through the grieving process A LOT! That part, I can say has improved over the past five years. I certainly spend less time in bed now, then I have. But, it still hits me sometimes... and I just need to crash.

People at work know I am widowed... the word has spread.

After I had been there for about a year, a lady who has been with the company for 50+ years lost her husband. About six weeks later I found myself sitting with her at a table for a holiday luncheon. I didn't know her that well. We don't even work in the same building. But, we had spoken before, and I had offered my condolences.

As we sat at the table that day she was talking to the group that was there about how tired she is, and she doesn't understand why. As girls do, they all started offering her wise advice. Drink more water, take your vitamins, and on and on. I sat there silent until I couldn't stand one more piece of useless advice. So, I spoke.

"Your husband died my friend, that is why you are tired. Drink all the water and take all the vitamins... but you're still going to be tired. Your body is grieving. Just sleep if you are tired. Let your body heal. And don't expect it to go away quickly. I'm two years in and I am still tired."

No one said a word after that. We sat for what seemed like hours in silence... of course I think it was only five minutes. I think everyone was too shocked that I would say something like that and too uncomfortable to know what else to say.

Sorry. But you can't go leading her on to believe it will go away by drinking water. He is dead. And all the water in the world is not going to make it so you don't have to heal.

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