Thursday, January 28, 2010


I have certainly seen the worst of people through the years. I have many such stories... and a few stories of seeing the best. But, here is one of the worst...

My oldest really struggled. I didn't know what to do for him. He wouldn't talk to anyone and in every way "checked - out" while he was at school. They were sending him to meet with the school counselor, but I also knew he was taking frequent trips to the bathroom during the day. I understood. He needed to get out... to get away... he needed to cry. So, he would. He would go to the bathroom to cry.

We had a wonderful counselor that was working for Hospice at the time. She was good at what she did and she understood kids and grief far better than I did. I spoke with the counselor at the school and inquired regarding his knowledge / experience in dealing with grief. He admittedly had none. I talked to the Hospice counselor about whether or not she could work with the counselor at the school. My son would not talk to her in the evenings, she would come to the house and he wanted to be left alone... but I thought maybe he would at school. And, at the very least, the Hospice counselor could teach the school counselor a few things that may help.

The counselor was open to this, so, with a plan in hand... I went to the Principle to seek permission to arrange this. His reaction: "No, I don't think that would be a good idea. I mean, what would be do if there was a break through and he was crying?" My reaction: "You are right. It is so much better for him to go to the bathroom and cry where the adults don't have to be made uncomfortable by his tears of grief. "

I didn't win that battle.


  1. AARRRRRG! You've never told me this story. If you had I would have called that principal and had a few things to say to him myself. Too scared to do anything that might actually help this hurting, crashing young boy? COWARDS!!!!

  2. I have sooo many stories of bad behavior. The school did not deal well with the fact that my oldest wasn't fitting in their little box. And they refused to be any other shape than square! Life lesson: If you have a child the school is ignoring. Fight. And fight hard. I fought, but never won - and he spiraled downwards... I sometimes wonder if I had fought hard enough to win, if it would have changed my son's life for the better.

  3. Kim,

    I have experience with this and may be able to help. I had worked with children in schools and their homes for over 13 years.

    You can e-mail me anytime.