Transitioning into the world of single parenthood was not easy. No offense to those mother's out there that have been single parents from the beginning... but I think it is harder on people like me. When you know what you are missing... when you feel the contrast every day. In all reality the task itself is just as hard - but knowing that it used to be (could be) so much easier made if feel harder.
I was thrown into this world of working full-time, caring for a house that needed far too many repairs, taking care of three kids (gosh I hate homework), and just trying to survive.
I am not a neat freak. Nope. I am fine if the kids run through the house and it looks like a tornado hit. At least I always had been - when I knew I could clean it up at any time. Something happened when time became this precious commodity... All of the sudden I didn't have the time to spend picking up the messes, doing the laundry, making dinner, doing the dishes, etc. I had just a few hours a day to accomplish everything. It really bothered me. I felt like my house was in constant disarray. I hated it. I was miserable. Then one day I was talking to my sister on the phone... moaning and groaning about how I couldn't take it, about how I couldn't keep up. She gave me some wise advice that day. She told me to get new friends. She told me I was comparing myself to me in my old life and I still had all these friends from my old life that were stay-at-home moms with kids in school who had TIME for things I didn't have time for anymore. She told me to find some single mom friends and see if I still felt incompetent.
That was the day I began to lower my standard. Now, I only fret if the kitchen or fridge starts to smell. Instead of worrying everyday about what a mess the house is... I rest in peace knowing I will clean it on Saturday, if I feel like it. I will say... I didn't run out and take my sister's advice to get new friends... I think I was too afraid that I would still feel incompetent. It's better here... in denial with my own new standard of normal.
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