Monday, July 19, 2010


Chris invited me to go to Niagara Falls with him on Saturday. I could tell something was up... perhaps just a gut feeling... but I was guessing Chris was going to propose. Now, this is one subject Chris and I did talk about later.. and I guess that even though I was sure this was the day.. In reality, Chris was not sure. He was going to play it by ear and see if the opportunity presented itself.

We spent the day enjoying the falls, walking around, riding the Maid of the Mist and by dinner time were feeling pretty tired. We walked back to where the car was parked, and I knew it was coming. I suppose I knew before Chris knew he was going to do it! We grabbed a picnic lunch Chris had packed as well as a blanket and spread out on the lawn to enjoy the beautiful day. We enjoyed our picnic and continued resting on the blanket enjoying each other and the sun.

Chris then asked me if I had gotten sick of him yet. I assured him I had not, nor would I ever. Then reciprocated his question by asking if he was getting sick of me. He replied by telling me he was getting sick of some things... such as the long drive home late at night after he comes to see me. He asked what I thought we should do about this. To which I turned the question back to him. And he simply replied, "I think you should just marry me." Just as simply I said Okay.

There I sat, grinning from ear to ear... I couldn't help it. Chris looked at me after a little bit and let me know he was serious. He was not kidding. I told him I knew. There we sat in silence for a bit until Chris jumped up, looked at me and said, "So, will ya? Will ya marry me?" and I replied with a "yes, yes, yes". He then handed me a ring in a brown velvet box. At this point I felt we needed a little bit of the classic, expected behavior. He needed to open the box and put it on my finger. I was not about to do that myself. So, I just sat there holding the box. And we began to talk of other things. He then took the box from me, set it down and again, we continued to talk. Finally, he took the ring from the box and put it on my finger.

I felt it was perfect. The perfect proposal for us... for how and who we were.

1 comment:

  1. KJ, my name is Angela…. thank you so much for this precious diary you keep, you are an amazing person and have touched the lives of so many women ….am so glad I came across your diary on the internet, ….i have been a widow for 1 year 8 months….I am in such pain…….since my darling husband passed away suddenly and unexpectedly ………I cry day and night because I miss him so much…. I know things will get better eventually, but the shock of this whole mess creeps up and stabs me like a knife in my stomach…. working through this is a nightmare, I just keep feeling low everyday……I keep wondering why I cant get out of this emotional state….. it seems like I’m on a never-ending treadmill to nowhere. Every time I seem to progress I trip myself up…... I try so hard; so where is the joy? There is no joy on this treadmill, only fatigue and disappointment! …..Rather than happiness I have more times of emotional misery…... I am consumed by the need to look back at my life in regret, in despair…I'm still struggling with understanding why am in my current situation………... I don’t wanna be a burden to my friends and family so during my low moments I just tend to recoil into my cocoon and resolve my emotions….Right now, I am sitting here alone trying hard to remember when I last felt “normal”….. I want to touch his face, to see his smile, to feel his hand in mine…. I know that life does and has to go on and I will always speak his name …….every memory of Hubby is with me, he’s no longer in my sight, but he’s still with me…………please pray for me, that I get strength to accept the will of God…and to be still and know that he alone is God. I had no idea what grief was all about until my husband’s death…….its very difficult, very draining…….