Tuesday, June 8, 2010


I am sorry if the ending surprised any of you yesterday. I received some phone calls from some weepy women. I really thought I had prepared you all for how it would end.

Most of what I recorded over the past couple weeks were the logistics of how it all played out. But, what you need to understand is that for the most part I look back on that time with fondness. It was one of the most intimate times in my marriage. Probably equal to the experience of having a child. The difference is, we had a child three times - and each of those times it only lasted for hours. But, this was an experience that went on for months.

I feel as though there were many blessings through those months and one of the greatest was the opportunity to spend such a concentrated amount of time with Chris. We did a lot of talking, and laughing and even a bit of crying. These are what sustained me. The test results and continuous doctor appointments and procedures, were also opportunities for us to be together.

The day of our first doctor appointment at the cancer center we went to breakfast at Bob Evans while we were waiting for our next appointment with the doctors. As we sat in our booth waiting for our food, we noticed an elderly couple seated across the way from us. There was something tender about the scene. Here we sat.... Young. In love. And on the verge of a trial that would take my love from me for the remainder of this mortal existence. The news we were waiting to hear, happened to be the news that would keep us from ever becoming like this little couple across from us. We would not be blessed with the opportunity to grow old together.

We were engaged and entertained in listening to their conversation. It was something out of a Seinfeld episode. The husband talked about getting the ladder out to fix something. The wife was not happy about him being on the ladder. He didn't have the right kind of shoes to be climbing a ladder. The conversation continued, and we sat there listening. Enjoying the "contention" between this couple.

When they left, we laughed and laughed. Just recounting their comments to each other. So sweet. This was one of many moments we seized along the way.

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