Thursday, May 26, 2011


Dating as a parent is challenging. 

1.  I was always exhausted.  Any conversation that we tried to have after 9pm was useless.  Neither one of us could think stratight.
2. Seeing eachother before 9pm and actually being able to talk without one of six children needing to interrupt... impossible
3. Dates? Vital, but are they realistic?
4. Most times of trying to sit down and relax and enjoy the other person turned into both of us falling asleep sitting up on the couch within minutes of sitting.

It was hard. How long do you keep this up?  It seemed like a month would pass and I would have to ask myself... has anything changed in our relationship in this past month?  Often, the answer was no.  That was good because we were in a good place. That was bad because I wondered if we were moving forward.

One evening we discussed the issue and the time-frame.  When kids are involved in the relationship and you see them getting closer and closer to the guy you are dating... it is a little scary.  My kids loved him, and I loved him.... but what if something happened and he and I went our different ways?  How much of a blow would that be to my kids?

One year.  That was the time frame we decided on. 

After 9 months I started to panic a bit.  Life as a single-parent is challenging and sometimes so challenging that you focus more on the day-to-day then you do thinking long-term.  Were we doing that?  Was the sheer challenge of spending quality time together hampering our progress and dragging this out?  Or did we already know that this was it and we just needed to focus on it and make the necessary steps.?  I didn't want to see my kids hurt.  R and I needed to make some moves so there was no longer this unknown... But, being the sole person in charge for six years.... giving that up was also requiring some tough changes on my half.  I no longer had to do it all.  I no longer could call all the shots.  I have to admit some nights I was happy to go home and be in charge and in complete control... just for a moment.

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