ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE

“As we pass through the trials of life, let us keep an eternal perspective, let us not complain, let us become even more prayerful, let us serve others, and let us forgive one another. As we do this, ‘all things [will] work together for good to [us] that love God.’ ”
~James B. Martino

CATCHING UP...

I fell off the blogging wagon... and now, in an attempt to re-create the past, the next 10 days of entries will be things (scriptures, videos, quotes) I love and need.

Feel free to reply to one of these posts with your own 'favorites' that you need and love in your life.

PERHAPS IT GETS EASIER

As I sat in church today... they sang two of the songs that were sung at Chris' funeral.

It is hard to sing those songs without my mind's eye returning to that moment over 5 1/2 years ago that those very songs were being sung as a testimony to the life my husband led and the faith we had of what would come.

One of the songs, There Is A Green Hill Far Away, was sung by his youngest brother. A song that testified of our Savior's atonement. The other, God Be With You Till We Meet Again, was sung by my sister-in-law and brother-in-law. They came close to making it through the song without being choked up.

I sang them in church today. I was strong, void of any emotion except fond remembering. Perhaps it gets easier.

FIRST FOOTBALL GAME

My youngest is playing football this year. I am glad. He is built for sports and has always had a good throwing arm, but has never wanted to get involved with sports. It is good to see him doing that this year.

I watched his first game today with mixed emotions. He wore his uniform proudly on the sidelines until the 4th quarter. They put him in. That is all I can tell you. I don't know what position he was playing and whether it was on offense or defense. I don't know if he did well or not. I don't know what kind of solid advice I should have given him as we drove home. And on these days... I am frustrated. Frustrated that I don't understand more of what my kids love. And frustrated that everything is my job to know. But, proud.. proud to see my little man starting to come out of his shell and develop and grow. Happy to see him beginning a life that challenges him and brings him happiness.

EVER BEEN TO A CEMETARY?

Visiting a cemetery was a new experience for my niece and four nephews who were recently in town.

The youngest in the clan, Zach, age 4, had a couple priceless comments:

Zach recognized the crosses on the stones as the cross he sees on the St. Luke's hospital near their home. He went down the rows saying solemnly as he pointed to each cross "Died from the hospital...died from the hospital" It was cute how after a while he then stopped and said, "Hey, do you know who died ON a cross? Jesus!"

When he saw a stone ...with an etching of Jesus he said, "Oh, and that's where they buried Jesus."

BEING GRATEFUL

My sister was in town visiting this week. On their last day here she wanted to take the kids to the cemetary to see where Chris is buried. While attempting to capture the moment with her camera (which she is very good at capturing most moments in life...) my youngest son started running around. I called to him, but he was enjoying the game and didn't surrender. My sister called to him as well, with no luck. She then commented..."poor Chris". We come to his grave and the children don't behave. My sister's oldest son (11yrs. old - same as my youngest), found that to be an odd statement. "Why does he care, he is dead."

My sister seized the opportunity to explain how hard it must be for Chris. His body is dead, but his spirit is alive. She then asked her son what his Dad would do if he were misbehaving. Then tried to make him understand that Uncle Chris sees what goes on, but because he isn't HERE with a BODY, he can't say anything in the same way. She asked him how he thought his Dad would feel in the same situation. To which he solemnly pleaded, "Don't talk about Dad being dead."

When we arrived back to the house from the cemetary, my brother-in-law was greeted with a big hug from his oldest son. A son who was grateful to have a father to discipline him.

SAYING THANK YOU

It is not often in life you meet someone you don't know who truly cares about you. Maybe that is a harsh statement, as most good Christians have a charitable heart and are loving, right?


Does that include the lady at the DMV? I don't know why most government workers get such a bad rep. But, they do.


When Chris was ill, we signed up for disability benefits with Social Security. He stopped working in April and we had been told it was best to file the paperwork, even if you were never going to need to draw on the benefits... so we did.


It turned out to be a good thing, as once Chris passed, the paperwork was mostly filled out. The lady I worked with at Social Security was nice. She seemed to be conscientious and wanted to make sure I understood everything. I liked her. As I left the office that day she had made a comment that perhaps she would review my case as it appeared there may have been a mistake in it.


I never heard anything... so that was that.


Now... fast forward five years. I start a blog. My friend reads my blog. My friend posts a link to my blog on her Facebook. My friend's friend is the same lady that helped me five years ago. She has since retired and had recently been asked to return to work for a limited amount of time. She sees my picture on my blog and reaches out to find out if that was indeed "me". It is and she expresses her concern that my case was never reviewed for errors as she sensed there was one.


This friend of a friend who I feel has since become MY friend... took the time upon returning to work to pull my case and review it. She was right. There had been an error. She took the time to correct the error, and file the paperwork so I could receive the due benefits. She sent me this little note...

I was looking down at my tablet while I was computing the benefit amounts . . . all of a sudden I felt someone watching me . . . I paused . . . I kept my head down but raised my eyes . . . I could FEEL Christopher sitting in front of me saying "Thank You for helping my family". I whispered "you're welcome".

I am grateful for my husband... who loved and loves me and the kids enough to watch over me continually. And I am grateful for angels like this lady who accept the errand of service.

MY BIRTHDAY BOY

It is my youngest's birthday today.

Time and energy don't afford me much opportunity to make a fuss. I think that has come to bless the children. They have started to act less 'entitled'. My birthday gifts to them are predictable. It is a run through the ATM and a quick stop at the card store. It is simple.

I am grateful, truly, to be in a position that the gifts are possible.

I pray the children know the love I have for them and feel their father's love daily.

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11 years ago today.... My last little baby was born. He looks so much like his father. He has his build, his strength, his love.

MY HUSBAND WAS HEALED

Sacred are those moments of trial that my husband and I endured through his illness. Much of his trial was his to carry alone. Blessings promised healing... He was healed.

Sometimes we are ‘healed’ by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us - Dalin H. Oaks

D&C 58:3–4

Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.

For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand.

VROOOOOMMMMM

I know this is not the best photo... but if you look at the yellow part, you will see there is a part that has a larger seam. There is a reason for that.

I pulled out a saw for the first time about a year after Chris passed. This is my favorite one. I know I don't represent women well when I say I don't know what kind of saw it is. I usually call it the "vroom" saw. Now, I don't just call it vroom... I say vroom at the same time I pull my hand from high to low as if showing how to work the saw.

I like it. I can cut stuff that I need. I hope I never have to change the blade, because I have no idea how to do that.

But, the first few times I used it, I expanded the seam in the yellow plastic. I don't know how that happened, but I am certain Chris rolled over in his grave when it did.

DO I STINK?

My lawn mower broke about a month ago. I decided to forget it and just hire a service to take care of my lawn.

I pay my bills.

I am nice.

It's a stinky economy... don't people want to make money?

I told him how often to come.

Did I mention I am nice?

And I pay them.... on time?

Do I stink?

Why won't they come mow my lawn?

And what will I do about it? Do I need to fire the poor man, and find a new one. If only I wasn't a widowed single mom who is working lots of hours these days... maybe then I would have time to fire people and find new ones.

Instead... My grass is starting to look like I feel.

WHY I'M GLAD FAMILY IS COMING

I wrote not too long ago... about the man of my dreams. The man that will hopefully be able to fix all my broken stuff. Of course, as most good men are... they are worth waiting for. So, I am still waiting for some things. The first day he came, he did fix my door so that was done. He was also kind enough to show me how to swap out the glass for the screen... and by show me how, I mean he did it.

Our 18month old miniature schnauzer has wreaked havoc on the screen. Not destroying it - but he did either tear it or pull it out along the edges.

So, my door that was fixed is broken in a new way now. We can't leave the main door open, because the dog loves his new dog door and his ability to easily escape and terrorize the neighborhood.

tick tock tick tock....

My brother-in-law will be here in two days... Think he will fix it for me?

THE END

That is the end of this little tale. And the end of the relationship. I flew over 2000 miles back home... and Grettir... Well, Grettir blew me off once all this was over.

I did find myself back in the land of Utah a few months ago and my sister-in-law was quick to offer to set me up with him again. I wisely turned down this offer... as I am a strong believer that if Grettir had any interest in pursuing a relationship... he would have.

So, that is how it all began, and that is how it all came to an end.

HE SAID the comments...

I Am Happy Today Because She Accepts My Dating: Part 3

July 31st, 2007

Sorry, folks…busy, busy weekend (and Monday): Play practices, outings with the girls, church, multiple after-hours incidents at work, incessant calls from press representatives wanting interviews about my date. (“Wake Up, Bangalore!” wouldn’t take no for an answer.) The comments have been piling up, so I thought I’d take my lunch hour and respond to a few of them here.


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Kate: Joy is me when I knowledge each gifts of Jobber’s Odd Lot live in forever with Happy DElight, so the snow is in the gentle flowerss of the cherry tree about the blossom not dead freezing it.

For those of you who are new here, Kate is referring to the origin of the title of these entries.


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Kate: Grettir, it is time to admit once and for all that Keira Knightley is NOT in your skill set — SORRY — I meant age set (and that is NOT an insult). Legal or not… Jennifer Aniston? She is SOOO not Kate Beckinsale. Or Claire Forlani.

For those of you who are new here, “Kate” is really Jessica Biel, who can’t quite accept the fact that it’s over between us!

Move on, “Kate.” Move on…


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apaperbackwriter: Okay, I am now reading this soap opera. But the characters are unbelievable. I mean, really — an eligible male remaining single in UTAH (hello, people — marriage capital of the world!) for 4 years?! No, no, no. You must give your audience a reason. He’s an ex-convict? He’s missing half his face? Or — dare we suggest such an abberation — he’s a democrat?

Actually, I think being a facially-challenged Democratic ex-convict would make things easier. (And there’s the added benefit of being able to claim the “single male facially-challenged Democratic ex-convict” exemption on my Utah state taxes.)


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brent: I will note with some impatience that it is tomorrow now…

Please keep in mind that all references to time on this site are based on SPT (Single Parent Time). In SPT, the day doesn’t begin until the kids are bathed and in bed and the first load of laundry is in the washing machine (roughly 23:00 MDT).

So, as long as I finish it by 06:30 MDT the following morning, it still counts as “today” in SPT.


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chronicler: Oh to be a fly on the wall at Chilis! Well, there were probably of few of them, but they don’t or won’t talk.

Who needs flies when you have sisters with bugs? From what I can tell, Kim’s four sisters arrived at Chili’s an hour before we did, wired our booth for sound, and were staked out in a van in the parking lot by the time we arrived. Meanwhile, my two younger sisters, having chloroformed two members of the kitchen staff, embedded wireless microphones in the guacamole before they sent our plates out.

Fortunately for us, the excessive amount of surveillance equipment in the room created so much RF interference that nobody was able to pick up a word we said.


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Christine: Chili’s is her favorite? You both need to get out more.

I agree. Chili’s is so bourgeois. I would have preferred Chuck E. Cheese, but I usually save the ball pit for the second date.


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Deborah Gamble: Kim is “hysterically funny”? We laugh at her jokes because we are family and it is the polite thing to do. Kimmy? Funny? Who knew?

Well, not funny ha ha. For instance, I thought her retelling of the classic “A Libertarian, a supermodel, and a marmoset walk into a bar…” was pedestrian, at best.

I was referring more to her delightfully droll take on life, which is both straightforward and oblique, modernist and postmodern, prosaic and piquant. Her wry observations on the day-to-day struggles of the single parent household had me in stitches for most of the afternoon. And when she started doing her spot-on impersonation of former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl trying to put his kids to bed, I almost wet myself.

I’m just saying, maybe it’s the audience…


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Kim: It is quite evident we have scared this poor man. He must be feeling stalked to have said the things he said.

That’s not true. I would have said the things I said even if Ms. Gamble hadn’t been peering over my shoulder as I typed. As I mentioned to you earlier, I’m sure there were many people who were disappointed with my description of the events, but I think the level of expectation had been set so high that I could have written Pride and Prejudice and people still would have complained that it lacked romantic tension.


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Jack: And? Once again, still not saying much.

I was thinking of your “So many words typed and so little said” slogan. I wanted to see if the inverse was also true: “So few words typed and so much said.”


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chronicler: You must be the most agreeable guy on the planet and to think someone threw you back is beyond me.

Don’t kid yourself, I’m a crotchety old coot. As for someone “throwing me back,” I’m not sure I like these fish metaphors. People might jump to unflattering conclusions about my kissing.


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ames: Thank you, Kim, for making Grettir’s first date in a LOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGG time a positive experience. We now have ammunition when trying to convince him that “getting out more” might just be a positive thing.

If by “getting out more” you mean “every four years,” then I agree. It’s like the Olympics: The subject of worldwide anticipation, heavily covered in the press, and everyone always feels a little let down by the host country’s performance.

HE SAID part 2

I Am Happy Today Because She Accepts My Dating: Part 2

July 28th, 2007

The Details (or Lack Thereof)
As I rule, I do not divulge details of my love life on this site…since, as a rule, you cannot divulge details of something that doesn’t exist. But even if I had a love life, I still would not, as a rule, divulge details of said love life on this site. I am, if nothing else, a man of discretion.

In this case, however, discretion has nothing to do with it. In fact, the young lady in question has specifically requested that I divulge the details of the date. There’s just one problem: I can’t remember the details. Honestly, the whole thing was a blur.

So, for what it’s worth (which ain’t much), here’s the general sequence of events, though I’d never swear to any of it in a court of law.

The Date
So, there I was at Chili’s at 12:55pm.

Chili’s Greeter: How many in your party, sir?

Me: WHAT!?!

Chili’s Greeter: I’m sorry, sir. Did I startle you?

Me: NO! I’M FINE! I’M JUST A LITTLE NERVOUS, THAT’S ALL!

Chili’s Greeter: How many in your party, sir?

Me: TWO! THERE WILL BE TWO IN MY PARTY! ME AND SOMEONE ELSE! THAT MAKES TWO!

Chili’s Greeter: Is the other member of your party already here?

Me: I DON’T THINK SO! IT’S A GIRL! I’M SUPPOSED TO MEET A GIRL HERE AT ONE O’CLOCK!

Chili’s Greeter: Do you know what she looks like?

Me: SHE’S CUTE! AND SHE’S A GIRL! SHE’S A CUTE GIRL!

Chili’s Greeter: Well, would you like to wait for her in the bar?

Me: NO, THANK YOU! I THINK I’LL JUST SIT HERE BY THE DOOR AND LOOK STARTLED EVERY TIME SOMEONE COMES IN!

Chili’s Greeter: Well, I’ll leave you to it, then.

Me: THANK YOU! DID I MENTION SHE WAS A GIRL?

I was as stiff as a board. In fact, when she walked through the door (at one o’clock, on the dot) I could swear I made creaking noises as I stood up and walked over to say, “Hello.”

We took our seats and I stared blankly at the menu while I tried to devise something to say that wouldn’t sound stilted. I think it came out:

I am most pleased that with you I am undertaking this excursion. I have hopes that it will bring you pleasure also?

Since Chili’s is her favorite restaurant, I deferred to her superior knowledge of the menu. So when she raved about the Southwestern Eggrolls, we ordered some as an appetizer.

Here’s the description of the Southwestern Eggrolls:


Chili’s Southwestern Eggrolls
Soutwestern Eggrolls
Smoked chicken, black beans, corn, jalapeno Jack cheese, red peppers and spinach wrapped inside a crispy flour tortilla. We serve it with our avocado-ranch dipping sauce.

Sounds innocent enough, doesn’t it? But a more accurate description would be:


Chili’s Southwestern Eggrolls
Soutwestern Spinach Eggrolls
Spinach, smoked chicken, spinach, black beans, spinach, corn, spinach, jalapeno Jack cheese, spinach, red peppers and spinach wrapped inside a crispy flour tortilla. We serve it with our avocado-ranch dipping sauce.

Warning: May contain spinach.

Allergen Warning: Manufactured in a facility that also processes spinach.

Each eggroll had thousands…thousands, I tell you…of small shards of cooked spinach and on the very first bite I could feel one of the spinach shards adhere to my front teeth. So, for the next ten or fifteen minutes I had to carry on a conversation while simultaneously trying to dislodge the spinach in the least conspicuous way possible.

I think my side went something like this:

Can you tell me additional information? That is of great interest to me! What an occurrence! I am incredulous! Mmm, hmmm. Mmm, hmmm. Do continue the tale! I am intent to hear the rest!

For the first half hour she probably felt like she was on a date with someone with Tourette’s who shouts out random entries from German-English phrase books while obsessive-compulsively touching his front teeth every 1.7 seconds.

But after that first miserable (for her) half hour, I was finally able to settle down to the point that I could at least approximate normalcy, and the whole afternoon just sort of opened up.

It was, quite simply, the best first date imaginable, but it was entirely thanks to her. She was absolutely charming, infinitely patient, hysterically funny, amazingly insightful, endearingly self-deprecating, extremely thoughtful…you name the superlative and I’d second it.

As for the claim that she talked “way too much,” nothing could be further from the truth. She talked exactly the right amount, which sometimes meant filling in enormous gaps in the conversation left by her date who couldn’t construct a meaningful sentence to save his life.

Besides, the more she talked, the more I could just sit there and stare at her…which, quite frankly, is something I would like to have done for the rest of the day.

To be continued...

HE SAID

As much as I would like to give credit to the one who wrote these words.... I fear his technical apptitude may allow him to determine that I posted a link to his blog from mine... and I would greatly fear he would presume I have never recovered from our encounter three years ago... On the contrary. I certainly have... but this is too funny not to share. So... Here is Grettir's side.

I Am Happy Today Because She Accepts My Dating: Part 1
July 26th, 2007
All right! All right, already! Yes, it’s true. I went on a date. Yes, a date. Well, it was really just lunch…and we met at the restaurant…and she was there under duress. But it was lunch…with an unmarried female…in public. That counts, doesn’t it? Is everyone happy now? Can we all move on?



No, apparently we cannot. At least not until after the debriefing. But we got home late again tonight, so I’ll warn you right now that I’m not going to have time to finish this tonight. You’ll have to content yourselves with just the events leading up to the date for now.

The Background
Some people may find this hard to believe…OK, people who don’t know me may find this hard to believe, but even though I have been divorced for almost four years now, I have not been on a single date in that time. There are many reasons for this…none of which I’ll go into right now…but suffice it to say that I have been waiting for the right combination of opportunity, motivation, and energy before I made my move.

Now, I know people are going to ask what I mean by “the right combination of opportunity, motivation, and energy,” so let me give you some examples of situations that might have accelerated the dating process:

1.Jennifer Anniston moving into the ward.

2.Finding accommodations in an apartment complex that also serves as temporary housing for stewardesses.

3.Keira Knightley finally returning my calls.

4.Global nuclear annihilation.

I am as shocked as anyone that none of these very plausible scenarios panned out. (I had my money on #3.) But if fate doesn’t intervene, what can you do?

The Setup
Well, for one thing, you can get set up on blind dates by well-meaning friends. But I learned very early on that if you say “no” to one blind date, you have to say “no” to them all. Otherwise, you end up with this…

Blind Date Facilitator #1: I heard that Blind Date Facilitator #2 is trying to line you up with someone.

Me: Yes, she is, but…

Blind Date Facilitator #1: But when I tried to line you up with , you said “no.”

Me: Yes, but…

Blind Date Facilitator #1: Well, if you’re going to let Blind Date Facilitator #2 line you up with someone, then you have to let me line you up with .

Me: But I’m not letting…

Blind Date Facilitator #1: I can’t believe you’d go out with someone that Blind Date Facilitator #2 wants to line you up with, but you won’t go out with someone I want to line you up with.

Me: But I’m not…

Blind Date Facilitator #1: You know, I heard that Blind Date Facilitator #2 once lined someone up with an ex-convict. Is that who you want to go out with? Ex-convicts?

Me: No, of course not, but…

Blind Date Facilitator #1: Well, if you won’t let me line you up with , then you probably deserve to go out with ex-convicts!

Me: Now, wait just one minute here…

Blind Date Facilitator #1: You’re not good enough for anyway! I can’t believe I even considered lining you two up. You’re not worthy to kiss the ground walks on.

Me: I don’t think I’d want to…

Blind Date Facilitator #1: See if I ever try to line you up with someone again, you…you…EX-CONVICT DATER!

Then, the following day…

Blind Date Facilitator #2: I heard that Blind Date Facilitator #1 is trying to line you up with someone…

So, my answer is always, “No, thank you.” But this time, my friend Debbie (who, unsurprisingly, played a Jewish mother in last year’s production of Fiddler on the Roof) wouldn’t take “No, thank you,” for an answer. I don’t remember the exact course of our conversations last week, but they went something like this.

Monday
Debbie: I want to line you up with my sister-in-law. She’s flying in this week for a family reunion.

Me: No, thank you.

Tuesday
Debbie: She’s really cute.

Me: I’m sure she is. No, thank you.

Wednesday
Debbie: You can at least go out to lunch with her.

Me: No, thank you.

Thursday
Debbie: Why won’t you go out to lunch with my sister-in-law?

Me: Because, trust me, she has better things to do with her time than go on a date with me. No, thank you.

Friday
Debbie: You’re just being dumb. Lunch isn’t going to kill you.

Me: I’m not being dumb and I never said it would kill me. I just said, “No, thank you.”

Saturday
Debbie: Look, she’s only in town until next Wednesday, so if it turns out to be a lousy date, you never have to see her again. Will you at least think about it over the weekend?

Me: OK, OK! I’ll think about it.

Monday
Debbie: She’s really looking forward to your date tomorrow. She likes Chili’s. What time should I tell her you’re going to meet her there?

Me: But I didn’t say “yes!” I said I’d think about it!

Debbie: Well, it’s too late now. How about one o’clock?

Me: But…

Debbie: One o’clock it is!

So, there I was at Chili’s at 12:55pm.

And that’s where we will pick up the story tomorrow…

MY RESPONSE

July 2007
May I just defend myself by saying I HAVE NEVER KISSED SOMEONE IN THE PARKING LOT (or anywhere) FOLLOWING A FIRST DATE OF ANY KIND - ESPECIALLY A BLIND DATE! Aside from that... Debbie, you did a terrific job! The only other hole... I had southwestern egg rolls (my personal FAVORITE) and a Cobb Salad. I'd go on... but I'd prefer not to live true to your comment that I take over your blog posts... All the further I will say is of my (too many) "lunch time" dates I have been coerced into, this was one of only two that did not leave me wishing I could somehow reclaim the time that was spent and trying to "learn from the experience" so I did not feel like it was a complete waste~ I have learned some good things – such as Never spend the entire first date talking about your wife who left you 5 years ago despite the perfect husband that you were… it makes the other party want to poke their eyes out. Never be so wrapped up in how funny you are that you don’t laugh at any completely obvious jokes the person you are with makes, it makes you appear to be self-absorbed…. Never profess your secret love and desire for this person to bear your children on a first date (this should be saved for the proposal many many months later if you make it that far), it will only make them forget they have a meeting they need to leave for right away! Yes… my lunch dates have been an education. This one though just goes to prove there are normal… fun… good-looking people in the world that are single! Go figure!

UNCOMMON NOTIONS VERSION part 2 - MY BLIND DATE

Kim's favorite sister in the whole wide world remarked that Kim had better things to do with her time than spend her precious few remaining hours in Utah with what was probably an old, white haired, half bald and obviously most uncomely man. Those were her words exactly. But Kim is always one to help the poor, sick and ugly. So she kept the commitment.

In hindsight the sob story portrayed by DW was very convincing and has most likely worked for this poor man in obtaining numerous "first-in-a-long-time" dates. It's sheer genius really.

Sporting a darling black shirt and white Bermuda shorts, Kim drove to the specified restaurant at the specified time. When what to her wondering eyes appeared "tall, dark and handsome" Grettir.

This is where I, the favorite sister in the whole wide world, get a little vague. Mostly because the details have yet to be divulged. But I am sure Kim will fill us in on all of them in the Comments section where she is very good at taking over my blog posts.

What is known is that Kim ordered Southwestern Egg Rolls and something else. That she gabbed for nearly two hours about things in hindsight she realizes should never be divulged on first dates. If at all. To Kim's credit, she did not kiss the man good-bye in the parking lot, like she has been known to do on other blind lunchtime first dates.

Finally, after paying the bill, Grettir had to drag himself away, back to his place of employment, where he was most likely questioned as to why at the late hour of 3:30 PM he was returning from lunch. Though certainly he made up some excuse like having to stop by the office of the Executive Vice President of International Global Operational Marketing Accounting and securing an insecure website router Internet connection breakage, or something.

When Kim finally returned to her favorite sister in the whole wide world at 3:30 PM, there was no time to play Nertz. Only time to discuss the surprising fact that her favorite sister in the whole wide world used to know Grettir, and that Grettir was not white-haired, balding and ugly.

Then it was to the computer where Kim made a quick stop to Grettir's LDSSingles profile. On this website, it is important to note that Kim is slyly masquerading as a bald, overweight pizza delivery person.

There was also a little time to visit Grettir's blog. The link to which should be included here, but the author of this tale, fears loss of readership. For when you see a blog more well-written than my own, you may never return.

Kim visited and commented on the well-written blog. Which comment elicited other comments. Very soon there was more chatter than appears typical for the well written blog. Are Kate, Pam, Chris, or even Chronicler potential or previous dates of Grettir? Maybe some of them are not even single or female. Kim does not know and doesn't seem to care, unlike her favorite sister in the whole wide world, who is concerned that Kim provide Grettir with some privacy.

Not at all bothered by what others may think, Kim has challenged Grettir to post a summary of the date on his blog. Which she is certain at some point in the near future Grettir will do. In the meantime, Grettir is milking the situation, enjoying the increased traffic to his blog as Kim and soon all of you will be repeatedly checking in. Searching for some sort of reply.

Kim, committed (threatened?) to post her own version of the date. Not on her blog mind you. For why would she need a blog when she has the blog of her favorite sister in the whole wide world. So that is why you are reading this here.

The End.

Thank you to www.uncommonnotions.blogspot.com

UNCOMMON NOTIONS VERSION part 1 - MY BLIND DATE

originally posted at www.uncommonnotions.blogspot.com


Once upon a time in a land called Orem, I worked at a company called...(I can use first person here, because I am not in the love story. This is only the Forward. Sorry, did I lead you astray? Let me clarify, the romantic lead in this little number is my baby sister. Ah, yes, DH exhales slowly in a sigh a relief.)

Anyway, no matter to the name of the company, what is mildly important to the story is that at this company there was a fellow employee named Grettir. Of course, that was not the name by which I had come to know him, but it is his Internet veil of secrecy name. So for his future career and his innocent family's sake I will comply. Now Grettir seemed to be a fine employee. One that did his work well and never stole office supplies.

What...Uh, huh...Oh, sorry. According to my sister this is supposed to be her side of the story, yet it is sounding a great deal like my side of the story. Silly me. It being my blog and all, apparently I was a little presumptuous.

Now why this tale cannot take place on eHarmony, or LDSSingles I have no idea at all. But for whatever reason it is being played out here. In blogland.

So now we'll begin at my sister's beginning. We'll call her Kim, as that is her name and she is not well enough versed in 14th century Icelandic literature to have a better nickname. Kim from New York state was visiting her favorite sister in the whole wide world. She was having a lovely time in Utah, shopping at IKEA, hiking above Sundance, and eating for free at Bajio Mexican Grill as much as possible.

Then Kim's sister-in-law (Yes, Kim has been married, but her husband died 2 1/2 years ago. Since this is a love story and not a tragedy we'll tell that drama another time.) So anyway, Kim has a sister-in-law DW (we call her that for somewhat obvious reasons, none of which have anything to do with the PBS children's show Arthur). DW thought Kim should be set up on a blind date. Kim's favorite sister in the whole wide world agreed with Kim that this was probably an inefficient way to spend her few short days in Utah. After all, there were still Nertz games to play.

Nevertheless DW can be very persuasive. With a specific person in mind for Kim's vacation blind date, she petitioned that there was this poor soul of a divorced man who had not been on a date since before iPods were invented. Kim, having a tender heart replied, "Then why would I want to go on a date with him?"

Raving about the potential blind date's sense of humor, DW tried to convince Kim that such a set up would not be too painful. Wisely still hesitant, Kim inquired as to the potential blind date's appearance. Because Kim is young and beautiful, she has a right to have certain standards as to outward beauty in addition to standards for a sense of humor.

DW gave what was definitely a wrong answer. She explained that she is the "worst person to ask" regarding whether or not someone is, shall we say, cute. DW said she gets to know a person and they are so wonderful, yada yada yada, she doesn't even know if they (that is the potential blind date specifically) is good-looking or not.

With this bright, glaring red flag, Kim was understandably more than hesitant to commit to a date. Then DW played the pity card. Poor broken-hearted potential blind date man. Simply needs a little outing. One short date to get him back in the saddle again.

"Make it an afternoon lunch," was Kim's final and only offer.

GOOD TIMES

I have given you an overview of the few guys I have dated... and I have indicated that there were other dates that didn't develop into more than one or two.

Grettir. Not his real name, but the name he goes by online.

I will quite frankly be plagiarizing this week... as I let you read the details of this story. I will let you read the words of my sister... AND of Grettir.

Good times. Really they were. Why it didn't develop into more than one date? Perhaps I have so much fun with the craziness... I let him in on my secret that I am just another crazy widow far too early in the 'relationship'. Because with Grettir... there was only one date.

I CAN

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me

Philippians 4:13

I AM CRAZY

I am crazy

I tell people that, but they don’t always believe me. I guess it is all in how you define it.

My crazy: I run on hyper-speed most the time. I have trouble sitting down and relaxing. I get pushed closer to the edge with every item that hits my “to-do” in a day that I didn’t anticipate. If you mess with my time, or waste it in any way, watch out. I over react to certain situations especially when I am tired (which happens to be most the time).

That is my crazy… what I am still working on… is how to fix it. I don’t know. But, I can tell you my “now” crazy is nothing like what my “old” crazy was. This is much more intense. It is odd the ways that widowhood changes you.

THE CENTER OF EVERYTHING YOU DO

Richard G. Scott said,

"Sadness, disappointment, and severe challenge are events in life, not life itself. I do not minimize how hard some of these events are. They can extend over a long period of time, but they should not be allowed to become the confining center of everything you do."

I AM NOT ALWAYS VERY COMPASSIONATE

I have learned a lot of compassion over the past several years. Being a widow has allowed me to understand single moms, widows of all ages, and people who are single better than I ever have. But, there have been my moments that I have been truly lacking in compassion.

One day within the first couple months after Chris' death I showed up to work ready to go as the day was full of appointments and much to accomplish. I had to get out of the gates running so to speak. There was another girl that I would be spending the day with who would be assisting me in our work for the day.

She was already at work when I walked in, but, she wasn't even close to working yet. She was sitting at her desk crying. I was compassionate at first... inquiring if everything was OK. She proceeded to tell me that she was using confidential company information (that she never should have been looking at) to determine that a friend of hers was dating an ex-boyfriend of hers.

I will stop the story here to say this is one of those things I just don't get. Can someone explain why, if YOU break up with a guy... why do you CARE if that guy dates one of your friends?? I don't get it. Anyone is welcome to date any of the guys I have. There is a reason why I am not dating them.. So, go for it. I can see it being more difficult if HE broke up with you... But when YOU break it off.. LET GO!

Anyhow... I let her cry for a bit while I prepped all the material for our meetings. We were running out of time, and would need to leave the office soon. She was still sitting in the corner crying (and had added texting her girlfriend to her list of activities for the morning). I was growing irritated. We still had to load the vehicle with things we would need for the day. I kindly told her she needed to help me out. She began sobbing.

I looked at her with irritation and said, "Listen, my HUSBAND just died and I am managing to pull it together enough to work. I am certain you can do the same with your situation."

It worked. She pulled herself together.

IS IT BAD TO BE GLAD?

Is it? Is it bad to be glad? I am sure it sounds strange that I could even think to be glad for the path God has placed before me. There is much of a burden to carry, but I see the wisdom in this path.

I have had the opportunity to become someone I never would have. There is good and bad in that. I see my weaknesses very plainly. But the good is very good. And I am grateful for that opportunity for growth. I have been pushed to my limits like I never would have otherwise. And when I have been (am) on the brink... I seem to have strength beyond my own.

It is like a muscle I suppose. It may hurt when you do the last rep.. but by doing it you become stronger. I am grateful for that strength this journey has given me.

I DON'T HAVE A HUSBAND

I am sure the title is an obvious one... but sometimes people just assume you do. Surprising given today's society... but it still happens.

One of those times was about six months after Chris passed. I was driving in a nearby city when I looked in my rear view mirror to see a cop car behind me with lights flashing. Instantly, I tried to figure out why he was pulling me over. Could it have been for talking on my phone while driving? I was surprised he would have noticed as my widows were tinted... could he really see in? Was it for speeding? I was only going five miles over the limit.. surely he wouldn't bother to stop me for that.

I pulled over dutifully and awaited the cop's arrival at my window. The entire time debating what my correct response would be to whatever he was going to fault me for.

With my window rolled down, insurance card and registration in hand, I greeted the officer. He approached my window carrying a meter of some sort and began to question whether I was aware of the fact that it is illegal to have tinted windows in the front.

Uh... no... I didn't know that. He started to pontificate on the acceptable levels, etc. and I just watched as he measured the level of 'tint' on my windows and then proceeded to write me out a ticket.

I was stunned. How do I fix the fact that I have tinted windows, I innocently asked. He handed me the ticket and told me my husband could easily remove the tint.

Thank goodness for good friends in the Sheriff's department. I drove over to the department, where my friends assisted in removing the tint (and by assist, I mean they did it for me), eliminated my ticket, and made a phone call to the ticketing officer to let him know my husband had just passed after a painful illness, so he should be ashamed of himself for bringing it up.

:) Good Friends.

DRIVING

There are little things that you don't think of that will become a nuisance... One of those things is driving.

I just returned from a road trip with my kids. 24 hours of driving and I had to do it all.

I miss riding. Looking out the window... getting lost in thought. Sleeping.

I get tired of doing all the driving.

On our road trip I happily handed the keys over to my brother-in-law who we met up with. It was nice to ride. Even if riding meant sitting squished in the back seat amongst the stinky boys!

FORGIVE

Widowhood happens in so many ways....

We all have some forgiveness to offer along the way, no matter how we got where we are. But, for some of you.... forgiveness is a huge part of healing. Forgive. Watch this message, and feel the spirit of the blessings of forgivenss. Widowhood is too hard. The burden is too heavy, don't carry bitterness with you. Let go. Let God. Forgive.