I was ready. I wanted to marry him and I had been praying about it for 11 months. I knew it was right. I knew he loved me and my kids.
But, he had not proposed. We talked marriage like it was expected. But, he had not proposed. There were times I was bothered by this. I was in deep. My kids were in deep. It had been 11 months. He only had one month before our proposed "timeline" came due.
I didn't want him to feel pressured. I wanted to be patient. But I wanted to shake him and say what is the hold up?? Do you want it or not? I convinced myself I would wait until the one year mark... THEN... then we would have a serious conversation! :)
One year and one day from when we met I was crabby. He had planned to propose. I am certain the evening did not go as smoothly as he had planned.
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Thursday, May 26, 2011
HOW LONG IS TOO LONG?
Dating as a parent is challenging.
1. I was always exhausted. Any conversation that we tried to have after 9pm was useless. Neither one of us could think stratight.
2. Seeing eachother before 9pm and actually being able to talk without one of six children needing to interrupt... impossible
3. Dates? Vital, but are they realistic?
4. Most times of trying to sit down and relax and enjoy the other person turned into both of us falling asleep sitting up on the couch within minutes of sitting.
It was hard. How long do you keep this up? It seemed like a month would pass and I would have to ask myself... has anything changed in our relationship in this past month? Often, the answer was no. That was good because we were in a good place. That was bad because I wondered if we were moving forward.
One evening we discussed the issue and the time-frame. When kids are involved in the relationship and you see them getting closer and closer to the guy you are dating... it is a little scary. My kids loved him, and I loved him.... but what if something happened and he and I went our different ways? How much of a blow would that be to my kids?
One year. That was the time frame we decided on.
After 9 months I started to panic a bit. Life as a single-parent is challenging and sometimes so challenging that you focus more on the day-to-day then you do thinking long-term. Were we doing that? Was the sheer challenge of spending quality time together hampering our progress and dragging this out? Or did we already know that this was it and we just needed to focus on it and make the necessary steps.? I didn't want to see my kids hurt. R and I needed to make some moves so there was no longer this unknown... But, being the sole person in charge for six years.... giving that up was also requiring some tough changes on my half. I no longer had to do it all. I no longer could call all the shots. I have to admit some nights I was happy to go home and be in charge and in complete control... just for a moment.
1. I was always exhausted. Any conversation that we tried to have after 9pm was useless. Neither one of us could think stratight.
2. Seeing eachother before 9pm and actually being able to talk without one of six children needing to interrupt... impossible
3. Dates? Vital, but are they realistic?
4. Most times of trying to sit down and relax and enjoy the other person turned into both of us falling asleep sitting up on the couch within minutes of sitting.
It was hard. How long do you keep this up? It seemed like a month would pass and I would have to ask myself... has anything changed in our relationship in this past month? Often, the answer was no. That was good because we were in a good place. That was bad because I wondered if we were moving forward.
One evening we discussed the issue and the time-frame. When kids are involved in the relationship and you see them getting closer and closer to the guy you are dating... it is a little scary. My kids loved him, and I loved him.... but what if something happened and he and I went our different ways? How much of a blow would that be to my kids?
One year. That was the time frame we decided on.
After 9 months I started to panic a bit. Life as a single-parent is challenging and sometimes so challenging that you focus more on the day-to-day then you do thinking long-term. Were we doing that? Was the sheer challenge of spending quality time together hampering our progress and dragging this out? Or did we already know that this was it and we just needed to focus on it and make the necessary steps.? I didn't want to see my kids hurt. R and I needed to make some moves so there was no longer this unknown... But, being the sole person in charge for six years.... giving that up was also requiring some tough changes on my half. I no longer had to do it all. I no longer could call all the shots. I have to admit some nights I was happy to go home and be in charge and in complete control... just for a moment.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
REALITY HITS
That was the beginning.... and bit by bit we moved ahead. We told the kids, began to integrate our lives a bit, and took "test" trips to see how everyone did when crammed in a car together. We dealt with broken down cars and last minute changes to our schedules. We had kids who loved each other and then didn't. There was an entire side to this relationship that was good and wonderful and fun to watch how it wove together.
Then there was the other side...Getting close to someone meant they saw me for how I really was. They saw my flaws in parenting and in life. And... someone seeing it - made it very real and made me more accountable. It was uncomfortable. That feeling was only exaggerated by having a man in my kids life who was a father and was keenly aware of all the "boy" things I had never done with my boys or exposed them to. It became extraordinarily clear the gap that had been created from years of single-parenting... from years of not having their father. There was sadness and pain in that. My first reaction was to run... but I knew I needed to face this reality that was our life. There was great things in our life and for years I had just focused on that and had lost sight of what we were missing. The process of dating "R" caused me to mourn and grieve for the experiences... the simple pleasures my children had lost in their childhood.
One day I stood in the driveway and watched as R played catch with a football with my boys. I was sad to think my boys had never done that at home before that day. There was happiness and joy in their eyes. There was a fun that returned that had not been felt for years.
Then there was the other side...Getting close to someone meant they saw me for how I really was. They saw my flaws in parenting and in life. And... someone seeing it - made it very real and made me more accountable. It was uncomfortable. That feeling was only exaggerated by having a man in my kids life who was a father and was keenly aware of all the "boy" things I had never done with my boys or exposed them to. It became extraordinarily clear the gap that had been created from years of single-parenting... from years of not having their father. There was sadness and pain in that. My first reaction was to run... but I knew I needed to face this reality that was our life. There was great things in our life and for years I had just focused on that and had lost sight of what we were missing. The process of dating "R" caused me to mourn and grieve for the experiences... the simple pleasures my children had lost in their childhood.
One day I stood in the driveway and watched as R played catch with a football with my boys. I was sad to think my boys had never done that at home before that day. There was happiness and joy in their eyes. There was a fun that returned that had not been felt for years.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
THE NEXT FEW DAYS
R left for Chicago the next morning and I tried to clear my head with no luck. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep and I had no idea why.... it was the craziest thing.
Sitting at work 'the day after', I was paged by the receptionist. That could only mean one thing. She always called your office line if she needed you. Only upon hearing 'Kim, please come to lobby" is it known to all who work there what is up. I had flowers. I worked for a company that manufactured juice. The card read.... Have a fructuous day !
I am not one to typically care for flowers. They are pretty... but have always struck me as a waste of money... But this day, I was very good with the choice to have flowers sent. I texted him a thank you and for the next couple days we exchanged some text messages. Thursday evening he was stuck in Chicago... delayed flight. The confines of the airport with hours to kill created the perfect setting for him to pay me a lot of attention. We conversed via text and he confessed his disturbed sleep since our encounter. I revealed I was having the same issue. We went back and forth for a couple hours, and arranged that depending on what time his flight arrived.... he would stop over and see me if I was indeed unable to sleep again that evening. I showered and headed to bed. But, for hours there I laid. He texted me a little after one in the morning to see if I was sleeping. I wasn't. There was no great purpose for his stop over - nor did he stay long. I think I was hoping that if I saw him again it would clear my mind. Nope... only made matters worse. I thought perhaps I would scare him off as I answered the door in my pajamas and some major wild fresh from the shower then bed head hair.
That was the beginning. I was way up in the clouds somewhere and did not see myself coming down. It was time I called for back-up. I called the sister who is not only a realist - but has the ability to play 'devil's advocate' very well. She was no help. Everyone I talked to (including her) commented on the energy in my voice... blah, blah, blah. I needed help. I needed someone to make this go away. I was falling and was falling fast for this guy.
Following one of our dates we were back at his house. I was laying on the couch and he was sitting on the floor leaned up against the couch. He was drifting off to sleep (which single working parents do often) and I was looking at his face. In that moment I said a prayer. I know I said I wanted to be single... but I didn't imagine I would find someone like him. He was exactly what I wanted. It was possible that the Lord was only using me as an instrument for some other end that did not have to do with he and I - perhaps I would simply help him bridge the gap to a different course in life. But, I wanted him. I loved him. I didn't know him completely - but knew I loved him. With faith in a loving Heavenly Father I turned it over to Him.
Sitting at work 'the day after', I was paged by the receptionist. That could only mean one thing. She always called your office line if she needed you. Only upon hearing 'Kim, please come to lobby" is it known to all who work there what is up. I had flowers. I worked for a company that manufactured juice. The card read.... Have a fructuous day !
I am not one to typically care for flowers. They are pretty... but have always struck me as a waste of money... But this day, I was very good with the choice to have flowers sent. I texted him a thank you and for the next couple days we exchanged some text messages. Thursday evening he was stuck in Chicago... delayed flight. The confines of the airport with hours to kill created the perfect setting for him to pay me a lot of attention. We conversed via text and he confessed his disturbed sleep since our encounter. I revealed I was having the same issue. We went back and forth for a couple hours, and arranged that depending on what time his flight arrived.... he would stop over and see me if I was indeed unable to sleep again that evening. I showered and headed to bed. But, for hours there I laid. He texted me a little after one in the morning to see if I was sleeping. I wasn't. There was no great purpose for his stop over - nor did he stay long. I think I was hoping that if I saw him again it would clear my mind. Nope... only made matters worse. I thought perhaps I would scare him off as I answered the door in my pajamas and some major wild fresh from the shower then bed head hair.
That was the beginning. I was way up in the clouds somewhere and did not see myself coming down. It was time I called for back-up. I called the sister who is not only a realist - but has the ability to play 'devil's advocate' very well. She was no help. Everyone I talked to (including her) commented on the energy in my voice... blah, blah, blah. I needed help. I needed someone to make this go away. I was falling and was falling fast for this guy.
Following one of our dates we were back at his house. I was laying on the couch and he was sitting on the floor leaned up against the couch. He was drifting off to sleep (which single working parents do often) and I was looking at his face. In that moment I said a prayer. I know I said I wanted to be single... but I didn't imagine I would find someone like him. He was exactly what I wanted. It was possible that the Lord was only using me as an instrument for some other end that did not have to do with he and I - perhaps I would simply help him bridge the gap to a different course in life. But, I wanted him. I loved him. I didn't know him completely - but knew I loved him. With faith in a loving Heavenly Father I turned it over to Him.
Friday, May 13, 2011
MAY 11... CONTINUED
I contemplated my choice for the last hour at the office.... There was a very big part of me that wanted to say yes... just my doubting mind that thought I may be starting something that will be awkward to end kept me from an immediate reply.
I got home. Kids were good and healthy. I sent him a text letting him know I would meet him there at 7:30. Having my own escape car was a must. I called my friend I had said I would fix up with him and let her know there had been a change, I would be doing some 'inside investigation' work. I told my kids I'd be out with my friend Wanda. I was certain I didn't want to tell my daughter. She would be mortified.
I arrived about 7:29. He was not there yet. I bought us tickets for the movie. Somehow that helped me feel better. I paced the hall. I read the bulletin board. I paced the hall. He sent me a text. He had been delayed getting back to town that day. He was coming. He told me not to buy tickets. I smiled and replied that the tickets were bought and we were ready to go..
A few minutes later I watched him walk swiftly up the front stairs. Dress pants, a shirt and a sport coat. His hair seemed to be a little damp from having just showered. He smiled, greeted me and we went in to the movie.
First dates are a little awkward. There seems to be careful placement of the hands and elbows and arms. As I sat there I was overcome with his smell. Aroma? Odor? How do you say that positively? It was consuming. I found my shoulders pressing closer and closer then firmer and firmer against his. As if I needed to be closer to breathe in his scent.
Part of that was completely unconscious... but then I realized what I was doing. I tried to reason with myself. "Kim, move over... you are almost on top of this guy". "Ummmm... nope can't do it" "Kim, move over" "Yikes... I can't". On occasion he would make matters even worse by whispering a comment about the movie in my ear. What was happening to me? He seemed to have this power over me that made me melt... I continued to try to reason with myself. "What is your problem? You don't even know this guy! Cut it out and move over." I couldn't. It was useless. Ever see Twilight? I could completely relate to how Edward felt (minus the desire to suck his blood).
I was grateful for the fresh evening air following the movie... I could breath and the breeze took his scent in a different direction. Thank you!! I can think again.
He revealed the research he had done on "Mormons" and his apparent loss for what to do next. No coffee... no drinks... glass of water? We headed to his house to visit. He sat on the sectional style sofa. I sat as far away from him on the opposite end of the couch as I could. It seemed safer. We visited for quite awhile, enjoying engaging conversation.... the night grew late and I said good bye... so I could go home and not catch one bit of sleep.... That would be the first of many sleepless nights to come. Something had just happened.
I got home. Kids were good and healthy. I sent him a text letting him know I would meet him there at 7:30. Having my own escape car was a must. I called my friend I had said I would fix up with him and let her know there had been a change, I would be doing some 'inside investigation' work. I told my kids I'd be out with my friend Wanda. I was certain I didn't want to tell my daughter. She would be mortified.
I arrived about 7:29. He was not there yet. I bought us tickets for the movie. Somehow that helped me feel better. I paced the hall. I read the bulletin board. I paced the hall. He sent me a text. He had been delayed getting back to town that day. He was coming. He told me not to buy tickets. I smiled and replied that the tickets were bought and we were ready to go..
A few minutes later I watched him walk swiftly up the front stairs. Dress pants, a shirt and a sport coat. His hair seemed to be a little damp from having just showered. He smiled, greeted me and we went in to the movie.
First dates are a little awkward. There seems to be careful placement of the hands and elbows and arms. As I sat there I was overcome with his smell. Aroma? Odor? How do you say that positively? It was consuming. I found my shoulders pressing closer and closer then firmer and firmer against his. As if I needed to be closer to breathe in his scent.
Part of that was completely unconscious... but then I realized what I was doing. I tried to reason with myself. "Kim, move over... you are almost on top of this guy". "Ummmm... nope can't do it" "Kim, move over" "Yikes... I can't". On occasion he would make matters even worse by whispering a comment about the movie in my ear. What was happening to me? He seemed to have this power over me that made me melt... I continued to try to reason with myself. "What is your problem? You don't even know this guy! Cut it out and move over." I couldn't. It was useless. Ever see Twilight? I could completely relate to how Edward felt (minus the desire to suck his blood).
I was grateful for the fresh evening air following the movie... I could breath and the breeze took his scent in a different direction. Thank you!! I can think again.
He revealed the research he had done on "Mormons" and his apparent loss for what to do next. No coffee... no drinks... glass of water? We headed to his house to visit. He sat on the sectional style sofa. I sat as far away from him on the opposite end of the couch as I could. It seemed safer. We visited for quite awhile, enjoying engaging conversation.... the night grew late and I said good bye... so I could go home and not catch one bit of sleep.... That would be the first of many sleepless nights to come. Something had just happened.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
MAY 11, 2010
After finding his photo on Saturday night the fun was over and we were back to life. I still figured months down the road when my friend's divorce was final that I would set her up... he was too good not to match him up with someone.
Somehow my great plans changed when I received a text message. The message was sent at 3:07 on Tuesday afternoon. It was R. He wanted to know if I ever made it to see Date Night, and if not if I would be interested in going to the Opera House to see it with him that evening. I was not in my office when that message came in, but I froze with disbelief when I casually sat at my desk thirty minutes later and saw a missed call, voicemail and text message all from him. I did what any normal girl would do under such circumstances... I ran. I went over to my friend's desk and divulged the secret. What should I do, what should I say?? She followed me back to my office where we could discuss my options... of course she felt the obvious answer was GO! I froze. I don't date. I don't want to date. I am so done with that part of my life. She continued to prod... Go!!
I was fearful and answering a yes made me incredibly uncomfortable. I just didn't want to go there. If I say yes, eventually I have to say no.. and that is hard and some guys don't get it when you do say no, if you said yes once before. Ugh. I was not about to start that nightmare. But... I was intrigued. There was a big part of me that WANTED to say YES.
I sent my reply. I let him know I would need to check in on my kids after work. One had been under the weather and I would need to check-in to make sure all was well. I said I'd get back to him after 5:00.
I had just bought myself an hour that I could spend weighing the pros and cons of accepting his date.
Somehow my great plans changed when I received a text message. The message was sent at 3:07 on Tuesday afternoon. It was R. He wanted to know if I ever made it to see Date Night, and if not if I would be interested in going to the Opera House to see it with him that evening. I was not in my office when that message came in, but I froze with disbelief when I casually sat at my desk thirty minutes later and saw a missed call, voicemail and text message all from him. I did what any normal girl would do under such circumstances... I ran. I went over to my friend's desk and divulged the secret. What should I do, what should I say?? She followed me back to my office where we could discuss my options... of course she felt the obvious answer was GO! I froze. I don't date. I don't want to date. I am so done with that part of my life. She continued to prod... Go!!
I was fearful and answering a yes made me incredibly uncomfortable. I just didn't want to go there. If I say yes, eventually I have to say no.. and that is hard and some guys don't get it when you do say no, if you said yes once before. Ugh. I was not about to start that nightmare. But... I was intrigued. There was a big part of me that WANTED to say YES.
I sent my reply. I let him know I would need to check in on my kids after work. One had been under the weather and I would need to check-in to make sure all was well. I said I'd get back to him after 5:00.
I had just bought myself an hour that I could spend weighing the pros and cons of accepting his date.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
MAY 8, 2010
The plan was to pick up my daughter around 2pm. My phone rang at 12:57pm with the caller-id showing the caller was the home where she was. I answered expecting my daughter on the other end. It wasn't. I had a five minute phone call with the father. Just confirming I'd be over to pick her up. He was willing to bring her home, but I politely declined and said I'd be there in an hour. I'm not sure why that took five minutes... but I just confirmed on my cell phone bill it was a five minute call. I think there was a desire to linger on the phone from both our perspectives.
I was timely. 2pm I was ringing their door bell. The 8 year old brother answered the door, invited me in, told me the girls were upstairs and then left. It is a large home.... built in the 1800's. The kind that seems to go on and on from room to room. I stood there waiting, expecting that the girls would be down. No one came. I hollered out a "hello". No one answered. I walked in one room from the den to the kitchen. I hollered again. No one answered. I stood there waiting and glanced down at the papers on his kitchen island. There was a pamphlet listing the movies that were playing at the Opera House in town. "Date Night" was scheduled to show that night and the upcoming Tuesday. I read the description. Sounded funny. Then I continued to stand there... waiting. I hollered out again. No answer. Awkward. Should I go to my car and try calling them? I chose to wait a little longer. The father... "R" walked in. It was obvious he was fresh from the shower. Clean shave, wet hair combed back, Saturday looking jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt.
He seemed surprised that I was standing in his kitchen when he walked in. I told him I was waiting for my daughter. He asked if anyone had gone to get them. I reported the details that I knew and he invited me upstairs to their third floor to see the space the girls had been playing in. I asked my daughter to get her things together and R and I returned to the kitchen to wait for her. In an effort to make small talk during our wait I asked if he had seen the movie "Date Night" as I pointed at the pamphlet. He had not... we continued with some other talk and then he started to apologize. He didn't have to get far and I knew very well where this was headed... he must have found out I was widowed. I knew the tone. He only got a few words with an apologetic tone out before the girls came bounding in and our privacy was no more. We continued to talk for a bit and he offered to show me some of the other fun spaces the house had to offer. We went to his barn with the girls in tow. After a short tour the girls found themselves playing on the lawn and he and I found ourselves with some privacy to talk. As I expected he expressed sympathy for my loss... we talked for almost an hour. I figured if he was comfortable discussing my marital status... he could discuss his as well. So we did.
I left there that day completely intrigued with this man. I felt a huge amount of respect for him and wanted to know more. His divorce sounded identical to what my best friend was in the process of going through. She came over that evening and I told her about "R". I told her I would need to fix the two of them up once her divorce was final. I could feel how good this guy was. She... wanted photos. I pulled out my best 'google stalking' abilities but was having trouble finding a photo. Gratefully we live in a small town. He had told me where he went to church and I recognized it as the same church my girlfriend went to. That girlfriend happened to call as we were in the process of trying to google stalk him. I told her I was looking for a photo of him as I would like to fix him up with my other friend. She inquired why I would do that... I should be interested. I reminded her that I don't date. I am done with that phase of my life. She directed me to her facebook photo albums.
I found him.
I was timely. 2pm I was ringing their door bell. The 8 year old brother answered the door, invited me in, told me the girls were upstairs and then left. It is a large home.... built in the 1800's. The kind that seems to go on and on from room to room. I stood there waiting, expecting that the girls would be down. No one came. I hollered out a "hello". No one answered. I walked in one room from the den to the kitchen. I hollered again. No one answered. I stood there waiting and glanced down at the papers on his kitchen island. There was a pamphlet listing the movies that were playing at the Opera House in town. "Date Night" was scheduled to show that night and the upcoming Tuesday. I read the description. Sounded funny. Then I continued to stand there... waiting. I hollered out again. No answer. Awkward. Should I go to my car and try calling them? I chose to wait a little longer. The father... "R" walked in. It was obvious he was fresh from the shower. Clean shave, wet hair combed back, Saturday looking jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt.
He seemed surprised that I was standing in his kitchen when he walked in. I told him I was waiting for my daughter. He asked if anyone had gone to get them. I reported the details that I knew and he invited me upstairs to their third floor to see the space the girls had been playing in. I asked my daughter to get her things together and R and I returned to the kitchen to wait for her. In an effort to make small talk during our wait I asked if he had seen the movie "Date Night" as I pointed at the pamphlet. He had not... we continued with some other talk and then he started to apologize. He didn't have to get far and I knew very well where this was headed... he must have found out I was widowed. I knew the tone. He only got a few words with an apologetic tone out before the girls came bounding in and our privacy was no more. We continued to talk for a bit and he offered to show me some of the other fun spaces the house had to offer. We went to his barn with the girls in tow. After a short tour the girls found themselves playing on the lawn and he and I found ourselves with some privacy to talk. As I expected he expressed sympathy for my loss... we talked for almost an hour. I figured if he was comfortable discussing my marital status... he could discuss his as well. So we did.
I left there that day completely intrigued with this man. I felt a huge amount of respect for him and wanted to know more. His divorce sounded identical to what my best friend was in the process of going through. She came over that evening and I told her about "R". I told her I would need to fix the two of them up once her divorce was final. I could feel how good this guy was. She... wanted photos. I pulled out my best 'google stalking' abilities but was having trouble finding a photo. Gratefully we live in a small town. He had told me where he went to church and I recognized it as the same church my girlfriend went to. That girlfriend happened to call as we were in the process of trying to google stalk him. I told her I was looking for a photo of him as I would like to fix him up with my other friend. She inquired why I would do that... I should be interested. I reminded her that I don't date. I am done with that phase of my life. She directed me to her facebook photo albums.
I found him.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
MAY 7, 2010
I think due to the craziness of life over the past several years, my kids have not had the opportunity to foster very many friendships with the children at school. I was hesitant to have them go play at others' homes as I did not know the parents, and I was not home enough it seemed to have friends over. Every minute of every day just seemed packed full.
My daughter seemed to struggle the most with this. It seemed to have stunted her ability to have close friends like the other girls in her class had. Just a week or two before this she had the opportunity to go to play at a friends house. I did not know the parents, but felt inclined to let her go. I had dropped her off at the girls' mother's home. The mother seemed very nice and I instantly felt at ease with the girl. I was curious about the family, as I had never heard of this girl before and I didn't quite understand where the friendship had come from.
On May 7... a Friday... my daughter came home from school inquiring if she could have a sleepover at her new friend's father's house. I must make the clarification here that sleepovers are just a no. End of story. Stay 'till late - return in the morning, no problem. But, we sleep at home. Curiously, when she asked, I didn't hesitate and said "sure". I didn't think about it at the moment... but I had, in reality, just agreed to let my daughter sleep over at some man's house... who was single... who I had never met. I am not sure how that happened.
Forever etched in my head is the moment I pulled in the driveway... He had a long circular driveway. He was on the lawn playing baseball with his 8 year old son. My daughter's friend was out on the lawn as well. I pulled into the driveway far enough to get the car off the road and stopped. My daughter hopped out of the car and I followed. I stood there half in the car and half out with the door open. He walked over and I briefly introduced myself and chatted about the girls' intentions. He was tall, salt and pepper hair. He struck me. I was intrigued. We exchanged phone numbers so we would be able to contact each other if needed during the overnight. It seemed like a good excuse.
I pulled away.. leaving my daughter playing in the cherry blossoms on the lawn with her friend.
My daughter seemed to struggle the most with this. It seemed to have stunted her ability to have close friends like the other girls in her class had. Just a week or two before this she had the opportunity to go to play at a friends house. I did not know the parents, but felt inclined to let her go. I had dropped her off at the girls' mother's home. The mother seemed very nice and I instantly felt at ease with the girl. I was curious about the family, as I had never heard of this girl before and I didn't quite understand where the friendship had come from.
On May 7... a Friday... my daughter came home from school inquiring if she could have a sleepover at her new friend's father's house. I must make the clarification here that sleepovers are just a no. End of story. Stay 'till late - return in the morning, no problem. But, we sleep at home. Curiously, when she asked, I didn't hesitate and said "sure". I didn't think about it at the moment... but I had, in reality, just agreed to let my daughter sleep over at some man's house... who was single... who I had never met. I am not sure how that happened.
Forever etched in my head is the moment I pulled in the driveway... He had a long circular driveway. He was on the lawn playing baseball with his 8 year old son. My daughter's friend was out on the lawn as well. I pulled into the driveway far enough to get the car off the road and stopped. My daughter hopped out of the car and I followed. I stood there half in the car and half out with the door open. He walked over and I briefly introduced myself and chatted about the girls' intentions. He was tall, salt and pepper hair. He struck me. I was intrigued. We exchanged phone numbers so we would be able to contact each other if needed during the overnight. It seemed like a good excuse.
I pulled away.. leaving my daughter playing in the cherry blossoms on the lawn with her friend.
Monday, May 9, 2011
AND THE ANSWER IS.... OR IS IT?
I set aside the first Sunday in May 2010 to fast and tell the Lord my decision. I spent a lot of time on my knees that day going over the evidence I had created for myself to validate my decision. I felt confident and sure that it was what I wanted.
I finished my fast and felt excited to see where life would be taking me. A day or two later I was thrown off when I had the distinct impression that the Lord had marriage in mind for me.
I know I am a better person married than not. But, remember... we have to work on this vision in my head. These few specific needs I have... I think I have created something that doesn't exist. I knelt in prayer and told the Lord I was willing to do His will. I told Him my little list of traits I truly desired and then prayed for humility to accept what the Lord had for me.
My decision was made. I'd like to marry again.
I finished my fast and felt excited to see where life would be taking me. A day or two later I was thrown off when I had the distinct impression that the Lord had marriage in mind for me.
I know I am a better person married than not. But, remember... we have to work on this vision in my head. These few specific needs I have... I think I have created something that doesn't exist. I knelt in prayer and told the Lord I was willing to do His will. I told Him my little list of traits I truly desired and then prayed for humility to accept what the Lord had for me.
My decision was made. I'd like to marry again.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
IT'S TIME TO TELL THIS STORY....
One of the things I have loved about this blog has been the ability to do it retrospective... I have been able to look back and take the embers... just bringing with me the good and leaving most of the bad and ugly behind.
The last year of my life has been.... life changing... it is time to tell that story.
Last spring in March and April I had many nights that were sleep disturbed as I woke with a question penetrating my mind. The question was "Do you want to re-marry or do you want a career?". For many nights I dismissed this until the episode kept repeating itself and I could not deny the feeling that I needed to answer it. I went to the Lord in prayer and told Him I felt this was coming from Him. I want to be an instrument in His hands. I will go and do what He wants.
This did not seem to satisfy as the episodes kept on. I began to truly study it out in my mind. The more I did that, the more positive aspects I saw about me being single. I have the ability to influence some I may not otherwise be able to. I have friendships I would not otherwise have. I accomplish and do things I would not be able to. And, knowing that my desire for a career was to work in television. ... certainly that circle of influence could be powerful.
I spent weeks prayerfully contemplating this and making a mental list. I considered the other side... marriage. I have dated some, and have found it to be too difficult. It was like when I was preparing for my junior prom and I had a vision in my head of what I wanted my dress to look like. I looked and looked and could not find the right dress. My mother was a seamstress and so I visited the fabric store and could not find a pattern to fit what I wanted. In the end I picked out five patterns... one for sleeves, one for a neck line, one for a bodice, etc and asked that mom combine them to create the dress I had in my head. My "man" was much like that prom dress. I had determined over the previous years in trying to date that there were certain "must-haves".... traits that seemed a bit specific and extreme. Certainly I would need to change that vision in my head to have a chance at finding someone who I would want to marry....
My decision was made. I'd like to have a career please.
The last year of my life has been.... life changing... it is time to tell that story.
Last spring in March and April I had many nights that were sleep disturbed as I woke with a question penetrating my mind. The question was "Do you want to re-marry or do you want a career?". For many nights I dismissed this until the episode kept repeating itself and I could not deny the feeling that I needed to answer it. I went to the Lord in prayer and told Him I felt this was coming from Him. I want to be an instrument in His hands. I will go and do what He wants.
This did not seem to satisfy as the episodes kept on. I began to truly study it out in my mind. The more I did that, the more positive aspects I saw about me being single. I have the ability to influence some I may not otherwise be able to. I have friendships I would not otherwise have. I accomplish and do things I would not be able to. And, knowing that my desire for a career was to work in television. ... certainly that circle of influence could be powerful.
I spent weeks prayerfully contemplating this and making a mental list. I considered the other side... marriage. I have dated some, and have found it to be too difficult. It was like when I was preparing for my junior prom and I had a vision in my head of what I wanted my dress to look like. I looked and looked and could not find the right dress. My mother was a seamstress and so I visited the fabric store and could not find a pattern to fit what I wanted. In the end I picked out five patterns... one for sleeves, one for a neck line, one for a bodice, etc and asked that mom combine them to create the dress I had in my head. My "man" was much like that prom dress. I had determined over the previous years in trying to date that there were certain "must-haves".... traits that seemed a bit specific and extreme. Certainly I would need to change that vision in my head to have a chance at finding someone who I would want to marry....
My decision was made. I'd like to have a career please.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
WHAT ELSE TO MARRY...
Don't take yesterday's post to be too sappy... like I want to marry someone just like Guy #2. That is not true. Because there are other things of importance.
I have been assisting in conducting a training at work the last few weeks and one of the things we discuss is goals and the impact of declaring your goals. It makes us more accountable. So, I will continue the thoughts of yesterday... with thoughts and internal commitments I have made to myself.
Marry someone who makes you laugh like Guy #1 and someone spiritual like Guy #3. Marry someone like Chris who wholly supports your standards and sees who you are.
So, with the list I have created... and the specifics I want to see... Does it surprise anyone that I have not re-married?
I have been assisting in conducting a training at work the last few weeks and one of the things we discuss is goals and the impact of declaring your goals. It makes us more accountable. So, I will continue the thoughts of yesterday... with thoughts and internal commitments I have made to myself.
Marry someone who makes you laugh like Guy #1 and someone spiritual like Guy #3. Marry someone like Chris who wholly supports your standards and sees who you are.
So, with the list I have created... and the specifics I want to see... Does it surprise anyone that I have not re-married?
Friday, October 15, 2010
WHAT TO MARRY...
Over the past several years I have had thoughts on what type of man I should marry if I were to re-marry. This particular thought I wrote in my journal exactly one year ago today. I capture it here, to make myself accountable for abiding by it.
"Marry someone who is as honest with you as "Guy #2" was and that embraces honesty in return. Someone who looks in my eyes with the softness that he did. Someone who is just fun... like he was."
"Marry someone who is as honest with you as "Guy #2" was and that embraces honesty in return. Someone who looks in my eyes with the softness that he did. Someone who is just fun... like he was."
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
TIME, TIME, TIME
Is it possible that I would ever NOT be a single parent again... during the years the hands-on daily parenting exists?
Don't read that line as if I write it with some sort of longing or loneliness. That is not the case. I am honestly just curious. Because in order to re-marry... I would have to date. And I have learned that dating takes TIME, something a single parent has very little of. And beyond dating, if one were to look to build a relationship that could lead to marriage... well that takes even more TIME. What single parent has TIME? And when you have time, is dating the way you want to spend it? There is so much to do in such a little amount of time.
Don't read that line as if I write it with some sort of longing or loneliness. That is not the case. I am honestly just curious. Because in order to re-marry... I would have to date. And I have learned that dating takes TIME, something a single parent has very little of. And beyond dating, if one were to look to build a relationship that could lead to marriage... well that takes even more TIME. What single parent has TIME? And when you have time, is dating the way you want to spend it? There is so much to do in such a little amount of time.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
BECAUSE SHE SAID SO...
Sometimes as a single mom... you just are busy. And tired. And things you may have thought to do under your 'old' circumstances (I can't say normal... cause life as is has become normal), no longer cross your mind.My sister advised me a year ago that I needed to get my 'dating body' back. I think that was her way of saying it was time to work on those extra pounds. I will. Someday.
I got my hair cut a couple days ago, because I try to do that at least once a year. My friend who was cutting my hair informed me that our mutual friend had instructed her to tell me to get my eyebrows done. I couldn't believe that. If my friend feels that way, why wouldn't she tell me to my face? Not tell someone to tell me.
I made an appointment to get my eyebrows done... the results of that appointment are above.
Then I called my friend and told her (on voicemail) I thought we were close enough friends that she would say that to my face.
She left me a voicemail in reply telling me she has no problem telling me to my face, but she forgets (that made me feel better - because if my eyebrows were REALLY bad, how could you forget?). Then she continued on in her message telling me I need some highlights, and not blonde ones.
I made that appointment today.
It is part of getting my life together. I need to balance everything... including beauty.
So... now I just need to calendar "Lose 10 pounds".
Sunday, August 15, 2010
HE SAID the comments...
I Am Happy Today Because She Accepts My Dating: Part 3
July 31st, 2007
Sorry, folks…busy, busy weekend (and Monday): Play practices, outings with the girls, church, multiple after-hours incidents at work, incessant calls from press representatives wanting interviews about my date. (“Wake Up, Bangalore!” wouldn’t take no for an answer.) The comments have been piling up, so I thought I’d take my lunch hour and respond to a few of them here.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kate: Joy is me when I knowledge each gifts of Jobber’s Odd Lot live in forever with Happy DElight, so the snow is in the gentle flowerss of the cherry tree about the blossom not dead freezing it.
For those of you who are new here, Kate is referring to the origin of the title of these entries.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kate: Grettir, it is time to admit once and for all that Keira Knightley is NOT in your skill set — SORRY — I meant age set (and that is NOT an insult). Legal or not… Jennifer Aniston? She is SOOO not Kate Beckinsale. Or Claire Forlani.
For those of you who are new here, “Kate” is really Jessica Biel, who can’t quite accept the fact that it’s over between us!
Move on, “Kate.” Move on…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
apaperbackwriter: Okay, I am now reading this soap opera. But the characters are unbelievable. I mean, really — an eligible male remaining single in UTAH (hello, people — marriage capital of the world!) for 4 years?! No, no, no. You must give your audience a reason. He’s an ex-convict? He’s missing half his face? Or — dare we suggest such an abberation — he’s a democrat?
Actually, I think being a facially-challenged Democratic ex-convict would make things easier. (And there’s the added benefit of being able to claim the “single male facially-challenged Democratic ex-convict” exemption on my Utah state taxes.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
brent: I will note with some impatience that it is tomorrow now…
Please keep in mind that all references to time on this site are based on SPT (Single Parent Time). In SPT, the day doesn’t begin until the kids are bathed and in bed and the first load of laundry is in the washing machine (roughly 23:00 MDT).
So, as long as I finish it by 06:30 MDT the following morning, it still counts as “today” in SPT.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
chronicler: Oh to be a fly on the wall at Chilis! Well, there were probably of few of them, but they don’t or won’t talk.
Who needs flies when you have sisters with bugs? From what I can tell, Kim’s four sisters arrived at Chili’s an hour before we did, wired our booth for sound, and were staked out in a van in the parking lot by the time we arrived. Meanwhile, my two younger sisters, having chloroformed two members of the kitchen staff, embedded wireless microphones in the guacamole before they sent our plates out.
Fortunately for us, the excessive amount of surveillance equipment in the room created so much RF interference that nobody was able to pick up a word we said.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Christine: Chili’s is her favorite? You both need to get out more.
I agree. Chili’s is so bourgeois. I would have preferred Chuck E. Cheese, but I usually save the ball pit for the second date.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Deborah Gamble: Kim is “hysterically funny”? We laugh at her jokes because we are family and it is the polite thing to do. Kimmy? Funny? Who knew?
Well, not funny ha ha. For instance, I thought her retelling of the classic “A Libertarian, a supermodel, and a marmoset walk into a bar…” was pedestrian, at best.
I was referring more to her delightfully droll take on life, which is both straightforward and oblique, modernist and postmodern, prosaic and piquant. Her wry observations on the day-to-day struggles of the single parent household had me in stitches for most of the afternoon. And when she started doing her spot-on impersonation of former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl trying to put his kids to bed, I almost wet myself.
I’m just saying, maybe it’s the audience…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kim: It is quite evident we have scared this poor man. He must be feeling stalked to have said the things he said.
That’s not true. I would have said the things I said even if Ms. Gamble hadn’t been peering over my shoulder as I typed. As I mentioned to you earlier, I’m sure there were many people who were disappointed with my description of the events, but I think the level of expectation had been set so high that I could have written Pride and Prejudice and people still would have complained that it lacked romantic tension.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack: And? Once again, still not saying much.
I was thinking of your “So many words typed and so little said” slogan. I wanted to see if the inverse was also true: “So few words typed and so much said.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
chronicler: You must be the most agreeable guy on the planet and to think someone threw you back is beyond me.
Don’t kid yourself, I’m a crotchety old coot. As for someone “throwing me back,” I’m not sure I like these fish metaphors. People might jump to unflattering conclusions about my kissing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ames: Thank you, Kim, for making Grettir’s first date in a LOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGG time a positive experience. We now have ammunition when trying to convince him that “getting out more” might just be a positive thing.
If by “getting out more” you mean “every four years,” then I agree. It’s like the Olympics: The subject of worldwide anticipation, heavily covered in the press, and everyone always feels a little let down by the host country’s performance.
July 31st, 2007
Sorry, folks…busy, busy weekend (and Monday): Play practices, outings with the girls, church, multiple after-hours incidents at work, incessant calls from press representatives wanting interviews about my date. (“Wake Up, Bangalore!” wouldn’t take no for an answer.) The comments have been piling up, so I thought I’d take my lunch hour and respond to a few of them here.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kate: Joy is me when I knowledge each gifts of Jobber’s Odd Lot live in forever with Happy DElight, so the snow is in the gentle flowerss of the cherry tree about the blossom not dead freezing it.
For those of you who are new here, Kate is referring to the origin of the title of these entries.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kate: Grettir, it is time to admit once and for all that Keira Knightley is NOT in your skill set — SORRY — I meant age set (and that is NOT an insult). Legal or not… Jennifer Aniston? She is SOOO not Kate Beckinsale. Or Claire Forlani.
For those of you who are new here, “Kate” is really Jessica Biel, who can’t quite accept the fact that it’s over between us!
Move on, “Kate.” Move on…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
apaperbackwriter: Okay, I am now reading this soap opera. But the characters are unbelievable. I mean, really — an eligible male remaining single in UTAH (hello, people — marriage capital of the world!) for 4 years?! No, no, no. You must give your audience a reason. He’s an ex-convict? He’s missing half his face? Or — dare we suggest such an abberation — he’s a democrat?
Actually, I think being a facially-challenged Democratic ex-convict would make things easier. (And there’s the added benefit of being able to claim the “single male facially-challenged Democratic ex-convict” exemption on my Utah state taxes.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
brent: I will note with some impatience that it is tomorrow now…
Please keep in mind that all references to time on this site are based on SPT (Single Parent Time). In SPT, the day doesn’t begin until the kids are bathed and in bed and the first load of laundry is in the washing machine (roughly 23:00 MDT).
So, as long as I finish it by 06:30 MDT the following morning, it still counts as “today” in SPT.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
chronicler: Oh to be a fly on the wall at Chilis! Well, there were probably of few of them, but they don’t or won’t talk.
Who needs flies when you have sisters with bugs? From what I can tell, Kim’s four sisters arrived at Chili’s an hour before we did, wired our booth for sound, and were staked out in a van in the parking lot by the time we arrived. Meanwhile, my two younger sisters, having chloroformed two members of the kitchen staff, embedded wireless microphones in the guacamole before they sent our plates out.
Fortunately for us, the excessive amount of surveillance equipment in the room created so much RF interference that nobody was able to pick up a word we said.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Christine: Chili’s is her favorite? You both need to get out more.
I agree. Chili’s is so bourgeois. I would have preferred Chuck E. Cheese, but I usually save the ball pit for the second date.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Deborah Gamble: Kim is “hysterically funny”? We laugh at her jokes because we are family and it is the polite thing to do. Kimmy? Funny? Who knew?
Well, not funny ha ha. For instance, I thought her retelling of the classic “A Libertarian, a supermodel, and a marmoset walk into a bar…” was pedestrian, at best.
I was referring more to her delightfully droll take on life, which is both straightforward and oblique, modernist and postmodern, prosaic and piquant. Her wry observations on the day-to-day struggles of the single parent household had me in stitches for most of the afternoon. And when she started doing her spot-on impersonation of former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl trying to put his kids to bed, I almost wet myself.
I’m just saying, maybe it’s the audience…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kim: It is quite evident we have scared this poor man. He must be feeling stalked to have said the things he said.
That’s not true. I would have said the things I said even if Ms. Gamble hadn’t been peering over my shoulder as I typed. As I mentioned to you earlier, I’m sure there were many people who were disappointed with my description of the events, but I think the level of expectation had been set so high that I could have written Pride and Prejudice and people still would have complained that it lacked romantic tension.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack: And? Once again, still not saying much.
I was thinking of your “So many words typed and so little said” slogan. I wanted to see if the inverse was also true: “So few words typed and so much said.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
chronicler: You must be the most agreeable guy on the planet and to think someone threw you back is beyond me.
Don’t kid yourself, I’m a crotchety old coot. As for someone “throwing me back,” I’m not sure I like these fish metaphors. People might jump to unflattering conclusions about my kissing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ames: Thank you, Kim, for making Grettir’s first date in a LOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGG time a positive experience. We now have ammunition when trying to convince him that “getting out more” might just be a positive thing.
If by “getting out more” you mean “every four years,” then I agree. It’s like the Olympics: The subject of worldwide anticipation, heavily covered in the press, and everyone always feels a little let down by the host country’s performance.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
HE SAID part 2
I Am Happy Today Because She Accepts My Dating: Part 2
July 28th, 2007
The Details (or Lack Thereof)
As I rule, I do not divulge details of my love life on this site…since, as a rule, you cannot divulge details of something that doesn’t exist. But even if I had a love life, I still would not, as a rule, divulge details of said love life on this site. I am, if nothing else, a man of discretion.
In this case, however, discretion has nothing to do with it. In fact, the young lady in question has specifically requested that I divulge the details of the date. There’s just one problem: I can’t remember the details. Honestly, the whole thing was a blur.
So, for what it’s worth (which ain’t much), here’s the general sequence of events, though I’d never swear to any of it in a court of law.
The Date
So, there I was at Chili’s at 12:55pm.
Chili’s Greeter: How many in your party, sir?
Me: WHAT!?!
Chili’s Greeter: I’m sorry, sir. Did I startle you?
Me: NO! I’M FINE! I’M JUST A LITTLE NERVOUS, THAT’S ALL!
Chili’s Greeter: How many in your party, sir?
Me: TWO! THERE WILL BE TWO IN MY PARTY! ME AND SOMEONE ELSE! THAT MAKES TWO!
Chili’s Greeter: Is the other member of your party already here?
Me: I DON’T THINK SO! IT’S A GIRL! I’M SUPPOSED TO MEET A GIRL HERE AT ONE O’CLOCK!
Chili’s Greeter: Do you know what she looks like?
Me: SHE’S CUTE! AND SHE’S A GIRL! SHE’S A CUTE GIRL!
Chili’s Greeter: Well, would you like to wait for her in the bar?
Me: NO, THANK YOU! I THINK I’LL JUST SIT HERE BY THE DOOR AND LOOK STARTLED EVERY TIME SOMEONE COMES IN!
Chili’s Greeter: Well, I’ll leave you to it, then.
Me: THANK YOU! DID I MENTION SHE WAS A GIRL?
I was as stiff as a board. In fact, when she walked through the door (at one o’clock, on the dot) I could swear I made creaking noises as I stood up and walked over to say, “Hello.”
We took our seats and I stared blankly at the menu while I tried to devise something to say that wouldn’t sound stilted. I think it came out:
I am most pleased that with you I am undertaking this excursion. I have hopes that it will bring you pleasure also?
Since Chili’s is her favorite restaurant, I deferred to her superior knowledge of the menu. So when she raved about the Southwestern Eggrolls, we ordered some as an appetizer.
Here’s the description of the Southwestern Eggrolls:
Chili’s Southwestern Eggrolls
Soutwestern Eggrolls
Smoked chicken, black beans, corn, jalapeno Jack cheese, red peppers and spinach wrapped inside a crispy flour tortilla. We serve it with our avocado-ranch dipping sauce.
Sounds innocent enough, doesn’t it? But a more accurate description would be:
Chili’s Southwestern Eggrolls
Soutwestern Spinach Eggrolls
Spinach, smoked chicken, spinach, black beans, spinach, corn, spinach, jalapeno Jack cheese, spinach, red peppers and spinach wrapped inside a crispy flour tortilla. We serve it with our avocado-ranch dipping sauce.
Warning: May contain spinach.
Allergen Warning: Manufactured in a facility that also processes spinach.
Each eggroll had thousands…thousands, I tell you…of small shards of cooked spinach and on the very first bite I could feel one of the spinach shards adhere to my front teeth. So, for the next ten or fifteen minutes I had to carry on a conversation while simultaneously trying to dislodge the spinach in the least conspicuous way possible.
I think my side went something like this:
Can you tell me additional information? That is of great interest to me! What an occurrence! I am incredulous! Mmm, hmmm. Mmm, hmmm. Do continue the tale! I am intent to hear the rest!
For the first half hour she probably felt like she was on a date with someone with Tourette’s who shouts out random entries from German-English phrase books while obsessive-compulsively touching his front teeth every 1.7 seconds.
But after that first miserable (for her) half hour, I was finally able to settle down to the point that I could at least approximate normalcy, and the whole afternoon just sort of opened up.
It was, quite simply, the best first date imaginable, but it was entirely thanks to her. She was absolutely charming, infinitely patient, hysterically funny, amazingly insightful, endearingly self-deprecating, extremely thoughtful…you name the superlative and I’d second it.
As for the claim that she talked “way too much,” nothing could be further from the truth. She talked exactly the right amount, which sometimes meant filling in enormous gaps in the conversation left by her date who couldn’t construct a meaningful sentence to save his life.
Besides, the more she talked, the more I could just sit there and stare at her…which, quite frankly, is something I would like to have done for the rest of the day.
To be continued...
July 28th, 2007
The Details (or Lack Thereof)
As I rule, I do not divulge details of my love life on this site…since, as a rule, you cannot divulge details of something that doesn’t exist. But even if I had a love life, I still would not, as a rule, divulge details of said love life on this site. I am, if nothing else, a man of discretion.
In this case, however, discretion has nothing to do with it. In fact, the young lady in question has specifically requested that I divulge the details of the date. There’s just one problem: I can’t remember the details. Honestly, the whole thing was a blur.
So, for what it’s worth (which ain’t much), here’s the general sequence of events, though I’d never swear to any of it in a court of law.
The Date
So, there I was at Chili’s at 12:55pm.
Chili’s Greeter: How many in your party, sir?
Me: WHAT!?!
Chili’s Greeter: I’m sorry, sir. Did I startle you?
Me: NO! I’M FINE! I’M JUST A LITTLE NERVOUS, THAT’S ALL!
Chili’s Greeter: How many in your party, sir?
Me: TWO! THERE WILL BE TWO IN MY PARTY! ME AND SOMEONE ELSE! THAT MAKES TWO!
Chili’s Greeter: Is the other member of your party already here?
Me: I DON’T THINK SO! IT’S A GIRL! I’M SUPPOSED TO MEET A GIRL HERE AT ONE O’CLOCK!
Chili’s Greeter: Do you know what she looks like?
Me: SHE’S CUTE! AND SHE’S A GIRL! SHE’S A CUTE GIRL!
Chili’s Greeter: Well, would you like to wait for her in the bar?
Me: NO, THANK YOU! I THINK I’LL JUST SIT HERE BY THE DOOR AND LOOK STARTLED EVERY TIME SOMEONE COMES IN!
Chili’s Greeter: Well, I’ll leave you to it, then.
Me: THANK YOU! DID I MENTION SHE WAS A GIRL?
I was as stiff as a board. In fact, when she walked through the door (at one o’clock, on the dot) I could swear I made creaking noises as I stood up and walked over to say, “Hello.”
We took our seats and I stared blankly at the menu while I tried to devise something to say that wouldn’t sound stilted. I think it came out:
I am most pleased that with you I am undertaking this excursion. I have hopes that it will bring you pleasure also?
Since Chili’s is her favorite restaurant, I deferred to her superior knowledge of the menu. So when she raved about the Southwestern Eggrolls, we ordered some as an appetizer.
Here’s the description of the Southwestern Eggrolls:
Chili’s Southwestern Eggrolls
Soutwestern Eggrolls
Smoked chicken, black beans, corn, jalapeno Jack cheese, red peppers and spinach wrapped inside a crispy flour tortilla. We serve it with our avocado-ranch dipping sauce.
Sounds innocent enough, doesn’t it? But a more accurate description would be:
Chili’s Southwestern Eggrolls
Soutwestern Spinach Eggrolls
Spinach, smoked chicken, spinach, black beans, spinach, corn, spinach, jalapeno Jack cheese, spinach, red peppers and spinach wrapped inside a crispy flour tortilla. We serve it with our avocado-ranch dipping sauce.
Warning: May contain spinach.
Allergen Warning: Manufactured in a facility that also processes spinach.
Each eggroll had thousands…thousands, I tell you…of small shards of cooked spinach and on the very first bite I could feel one of the spinach shards adhere to my front teeth. So, for the next ten or fifteen minutes I had to carry on a conversation while simultaneously trying to dislodge the spinach in the least conspicuous way possible.
I think my side went something like this:
Can you tell me additional information?
For the first half hour she probably felt like she was on a date with someone with Tourette’s who shouts out random entries from German-English phrase books while obsessive-compulsively touching his front teeth every 1.7 seconds.
But after that first miserable (for her) half hour, I was finally able to settle down to the point that I could at least approximate normalcy, and the whole afternoon just sort of opened up.
It was, quite simply, the best first date imaginable, but it was entirely thanks to her. She was absolutely charming, infinitely patient, hysterically funny, amazingly insightful, endearingly self-deprecating, extremely thoughtful…you name the superlative and I’d second it.
As for the claim that she talked “way too much,” nothing could be further from the truth. She talked exactly the right amount, which sometimes meant filling in enormous gaps in the conversation left by her date who couldn’t construct a meaningful sentence to save his life.
Besides, the more she talked, the more I could just sit there and stare at her…which, quite frankly, is something I would like to have done for the rest of the day.
To be continued...
Friday, August 13, 2010
HE SAID
As much as I would like to give credit to the one who wrote these words.... I fear his technical apptitude may allow him to determine that I posted a link to his blog from mine... and I would greatly fear he would presume I have never recovered from our encounter three years ago... On the contrary. I certainly have... but this is too funny not to share. So... Here is Grettir's side.
I Am Happy Today Because She Accepts My Dating: Part 1
July 26th, 2007
All right! All right, already! Yes, it’s true. I went on a date. Yes, a date. Well, it was really just lunch…and we met at the restaurant…and she was there under duress. But it was lunch…with an unmarried female…in public. That counts, doesn’t it? Is everyone happy now? Can we all move on?
No, apparently we cannot. At least not until after the debriefing. But we got home late again tonight, so I’ll warn you right now that I’m not going to have time to finish this tonight. You’ll have to content yourselves with just the events leading up to the date for now.
The Background
Some people may find this hard to believe…OK, people who don’t know me may find this hard to believe, but even though I have been divorced for almost four years now, I have not been on a single date in that time. There are many reasons for this…none of which I’ll go into right now…but suffice it to say that I have been waiting for the right combination of opportunity, motivation, and energy before I made my move.
Now, I know people are going to ask what I mean by “the right combination of opportunity, motivation, and energy,” so let me give you some examples of situations that might have accelerated the dating process:
1.Jennifer Anniston moving into the ward.
2.Finding accommodations in an apartment complex that also serves as temporary housing for stewardesses.
3.Keira Knightley finally returning my calls.
4.Global nuclear annihilation.
I am as shocked as anyone that none of these very plausible scenarios panned out. (I had my money on #3.) But if fate doesn’t intervene, what can you do?
The Setup
Well, for one thing, you can get set up on blind dates by well-meaning friends. But I learned very early on that if you say “no” to one blind date, you have to say “no” to them all. Otherwise, you end up with this…
Blind Date Facilitator #1: I heard that Blind Date Facilitator #2 is trying to line you up with someone.
Me: Yes, she is, but…
Blind Date Facilitator #1: But when I tried to line you up with , you said “no.”
Me: Yes, but…
Blind Date Facilitator #1: Well, if you’re going to let Blind Date Facilitator #2 line you up with someone, then you have to let me line you up with .
Me: But I’m not letting…
Blind Date Facilitator #1: I can’t believe you’d go out with someone that Blind Date Facilitator #2 wants to line you up with, but you won’t go out with someone I want to line you up with.
Me: But I’m not…
Blind Date Facilitator #1: You know, I heard that Blind Date Facilitator #2 once lined someone up with an ex-convict. Is that who you want to go out with? Ex-convicts?
Me: No, of course not, but…
Blind Date Facilitator #1: Well, if you won’t let me line you up with , then you probably deserve to go out with ex-convicts!
Me: Now, wait just one minute here…
Blind Date Facilitator #1: You’re not good enough for anyway! I can’t believe I even considered lining you two up. You’re not worthy to kiss the ground walks on.
Me: I don’t think I’d want to…
Blind Date Facilitator #1: See if I ever try to line you up with someone again, you…you…EX-CONVICT DATER!
Then, the following day…
Blind Date Facilitator #2: I heard that Blind Date Facilitator #1 is trying to line you up with someone…
So, my answer is always, “No, thank you.” But this time, my friend Debbie (who, unsurprisingly, played a Jewish mother in last year’s production of Fiddler on the Roof) wouldn’t take “No, thank you,” for an answer. I don’t remember the exact course of our conversations last week, but they went something like this.
Monday
Debbie: I want to line you up with my sister-in-law. She’s flying in this week for a family reunion.
Me: No, thank you.
Tuesday
Debbie: She’s really cute.
Me: I’m sure she is. No, thank you.
Wednesday
Debbie: You can at least go out to lunch with her.
Me: No, thank you.
Thursday
Debbie: Why won’t you go out to lunch with my sister-in-law?
Me: Because, trust me, she has better things to do with her time than go on a date with me. No, thank you.
Friday
Debbie: You’re just being dumb. Lunch isn’t going to kill you.
Me: I’m not being dumb and I never said it would kill me. I just said, “No, thank you.”
Saturday
Debbie: Look, she’s only in town until next Wednesday, so if it turns out to be a lousy date, you never have to see her again. Will you at least think about it over the weekend?
Me: OK, OK! I’ll think about it.
Monday
Debbie: She’s really looking forward to your date tomorrow. She likes Chili’s. What time should I tell her you’re going to meet her there?
Me: But I didn’t say “yes!” I said I’d think about it!
Debbie: Well, it’s too late now. How about one o’clock?
Me: But…
Debbie: One o’clock it is!
So, there I was at Chili’s at 12:55pm.
And that’s where we will pick up the story tomorrow…
I Am Happy Today Because She Accepts My Dating: Part 1
July 26th, 2007
All right! All right, already! Yes, it’s true. I went on a date. Yes, a date. Well, it was really just lunch…and we met at the restaurant…and she was there under duress. But it was lunch…with an unmarried female…in public. That counts, doesn’t it? Is everyone happy now? Can we all move on?
No, apparently we cannot. At least not until after the debriefing. But we got home late again tonight, so I’ll warn you right now that I’m not going to have time to finish this tonight. You’ll have to content yourselves with just the events leading up to the date for now.
The Background
Some people may find this hard to believe…OK, people who don’t know me may find this hard to believe, but even though I have been divorced for almost four years now, I have not been on a single date in that time. There are many reasons for this…none of which I’ll go into right now…but suffice it to say that I have been waiting for the right combination of opportunity, motivation, and energy before I made my move.
Now, I know people are going to ask what I mean by “the right combination of opportunity, motivation, and energy,” so let me give you some examples of situations that might have accelerated the dating process:
1.Jennifer Anniston moving into the ward.
2.Finding accommodations in an apartment complex that also serves as temporary housing for stewardesses.
3.Keira Knightley finally returning my calls.
4.Global nuclear annihilation.
I am as shocked as anyone that none of these very plausible scenarios panned out. (I had my money on #3.) But if fate doesn’t intervene, what can you do?
The Setup
Well, for one thing, you can get set up on blind dates by well-meaning friends. But I learned very early on that if you say “no” to one blind date, you have to say “no” to them all. Otherwise, you end up with this…
Blind Date Facilitator #1: I heard that Blind Date Facilitator #2 is trying to line you up with someone.
Me: Yes, she is, but…
Blind Date Facilitator #1: But when I tried to line you up with , you said “no.”
Me: Yes, but…
Blind Date Facilitator #1: Well, if you’re going to let Blind Date Facilitator #2 line you up with someone, then you have to let me line you up with .
Me: But I’m not letting…
Blind Date Facilitator #1: I can’t believe you’d go out with someone that Blind Date Facilitator #2 wants to line you up with, but you won’t go out with someone I want to line you up with.
Me: But I’m not…
Blind Date Facilitator #1: You know, I heard that Blind Date Facilitator #2 once lined someone up with an ex-convict. Is that who you want to go out with? Ex-convicts?
Me: No, of course not, but…
Blind Date Facilitator #1: Well, if you won’t let me line you up with , then you probably deserve to go out with ex-convicts!
Me: Now, wait just one minute here…
Blind Date Facilitator #1: You’re not good enough for anyway! I can’t believe I even considered lining you two up. You’re not worthy to kiss the ground walks on.
Me: I don’t think I’d want to…
Blind Date Facilitator #1: See if I ever try to line you up with someone again, you…you…EX-CONVICT DATER!
Then, the following day…
Blind Date Facilitator #2: I heard that Blind Date Facilitator #1 is trying to line you up with someone…
So, my answer is always, “No, thank you.” But this time, my friend Debbie (who, unsurprisingly, played a Jewish mother in last year’s production of Fiddler on the Roof) wouldn’t take “No, thank you,” for an answer. I don’t remember the exact course of our conversations last week, but they went something like this.
Monday
Debbie: I want to line you up with my sister-in-law. She’s flying in this week for a family reunion.
Me: No, thank you.
Tuesday
Debbie: She’s really cute.
Me: I’m sure she is. No, thank you.
Wednesday
Debbie: You can at least go out to lunch with her.
Me: No, thank you.
Thursday
Debbie: Why won’t you go out to lunch with my sister-in-law?
Me: Because, trust me, she has better things to do with her time than go on a date with me. No, thank you.
Friday
Debbie: You’re just being dumb. Lunch isn’t going to kill you.
Me: I’m not being dumb and I never said it would kill me. I just said, “No, thank you.”
Saturday
Debbie: Look, she’s only in town until next Wednesday, so if it turns out to be a lousy date, you never have to see her again. Will you at least think about it over the weekend?
Me: OK, OK! I’ll think about it.
Monday
Debbie: She’s really looking forward to your date tomorrow. She likes Chili’s. What time should I tell her you’re going to meet her there?
Me: But I didn’t say “yes!” I said I’d think about it!
Debbie: Well, it’s too late now. How about one o’clock?
Me: But…
Debbie: One o’clock it is!
So, there I was at Chili’s at 12:55pm.
And that’s where we will pick up the story tomorrow…
Thursday, August 12, 2010
MY RESPONSE
July 2007
May I just defend myself by saying I HAVE NEVER KISSED SOMEONE IN THE PARKING LOT (or anywhere) FOLLOWING A FIRST DATE OF ANY KIND - ESPECIALLY A BLIND DATE! Aside from that... Debbie, you did a terrific job! The only other hole... I had southwestern egg rolls (my personal FAVORITE) and a Cobb Salad. I'd go on... but I'd prefer not to live true to your comment that I take over your blog posts... All the further I will say is of my (too many) "lunch time" dates I have been coerced into, this was one of only two that did not leave me wishing I could somehow reclaim the time that was spent and trying to "learn from the experience" so I did not feel like it was a complete waste~ I have learned some good things – such as Never spend the entire first date talking about your wife who left you 5 years ago despite the perfect husband that you were… it makes the other party want to poke their eyes out. Never be so wrapped up in how funny you are that you don’t laugh at any completely obvious jokes the person you are with makes, it makes you appear to be self-absorbed…. Never profess your secret love and desire for this person to bear your children on a first date (this should be saved for the proposal many many months later if you make it that far), it will only make them forget they have a meeting they need to leave for right away! Yes… my lunch dates have been an education. This one though just goes to prove there are normal… fun… good-looking people in the world that are single! Go figure!
May I just defend myself by saying I HAVE NEVER KISSED SOMEONE IN THE PARKING LOT (or anywhere) FOLLOWING A FIRST DATE OF ANY KIND - ESPECIALLY A BLIND DATE! Aside from that... Debbie, you did a terrific job! The only other hole... I had southwestern egg rolls (my personal FAVORITE) and a Cobb Salad. I'd go on... but I'd prefer not to live true to your comment that I take over your blog posts... All the further I will say is of my (too many) "lunch time" dates I have been coerced into, this was one of only two that did not leave me wishing I could somehow reclaim the time that was spent and trying to "learn from the experience" so I did not feel like it was a complete waste~ I have learned some good things – such as Never spend the entire first date talking about your wife who left you 5 years ago despite the perfect husband that you were… it makes the other party want to poke their eyes out. Never be so wrapped up in how funny you are that you don’t laugh at any completely obvious jokes the person you are with makes, it makes you appear to be self-absorbed…. Never profess your secret love and desire for this person to bear your children on a first date (this should be saved for the proposal many many months later if you make it that far), it will only make them forget they have a meeting they need to leave for right away! Yes… my lunch dates have been an education. This one though just goes to prove there are normal… fun… good-looking people in the world that are single! Go figure!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
UNCOMMON NOTIONS VERSION part 2 - MY BLIND DATE
Kim's favorite sister in the whole wide world remarked that Kim had better things to do with her time than spend her precious few remaining hours in Utah with what was probably an old, white haired, half bald and obviously most uncomely man. Those were her words exactly. But Kim is always one to help the poor, sick and ugly. So she kept the commitment.
In hindsight the sob story portrayed by DW was very convincing and has most likely worked for this poor man in obtaining numerous "first-in-a-long-time" dates. It's sheer genius really.
Sporting a darling black shirt and white Bermuda shorts, Kim drove to the specified restaurant at the specified time. When what to her wondering eyes appeared "tall, dark and handsome" Grettir.
This is where I, the favorite sister in the whole wide world, get a little vague. Mostly because the details have yet to be divulged. But I am sure Kim will fill us in on all of them in the Comments section where she is very good at taking over my blog posts.
What is known is that Kim ordered Southwestern Egg Rolls and something else. That she gabbed for nearly two hours about things in hindsight she realizes should never be divulged on first dates. If at all. To Kim's credit, she did not kiss the man good-bye in the parking lot, like she has been known to do on other blind lunchtime first dates.
Finally, after paying the bill, Grettir had to drag himself away, back to his place of employment, where he was most likely questioned as to why at the late hour of 3:30 PM he was returning from lunch. Though certainly he made up some excuse like having to stop by the office of the Executive Vice President of International Global Operational Marketing Accounting and securing an insecure website router Internet connection breakage, or something.
When Kim finally returned to her favorite sister in the whole wide world at 3:30 PM, there was no time to play Nertz. Only time to discuss the surprising fact that her favorite sister in the whole wide world used to know Grettir, and that Grettir was not white-haired, balding and ugly.
Then it was to the computer where Kim made a quick stop to Grettir's LDSSingles profile. On this website, it is important to note that Kim is slyly masquerading as a bald, overweight pizza delivery person.
There was also a little time to visit Grettir's blog. The link to which should be included here, but the author of this tale, fears loss of readership. For when you see a blog more well-written than my own, you may never return.
Kim visited and commented on the well-written blog. Which comment elicited other comments. Very soon there was more chatter than appears typical for the well written blog. Are Kate, Pam, Chris, or even Chronicler potential or previous dates of Grettir? Maybe some of them are not even single or female. Kim does not know and doesn't seem to care, unlike her favorite sister in the whole wide world, who is concerned that Kim provide Grettir with some privacy.
Not at all bothered by what others may think, Kim has challenged Grettir to post a summary of the date on his blog. Which she is certain at some point in the near future Grettir will do. In the meantime, Grettir is milking the situation, enjoying the increased traffic to his blog as Kim and soon all of you will be repeatedly checking in. Searching for some sort of reply.
Kim, committed (threatened?) to post her own version of the date. Not on her blog mind you. For why would she need a blog when she has the blog of her favorite sister in the whole wide world. So that is why you are reading this here.
The End.
Thank you to www.uncommonnotions.blogspot.com
In hindsight the sob story portrayed by DW was very convincing and has most likely worked for this poor man in obtaining numerous "first-in-a-long-time" dates. It's sheer genius really.
Sporting a darling black shirt and white Bermuda shorts, Kim drove to the specified restaurant at the specified time. When what to her wondering eyes appeared "tall, dark and handsome" Grettir.
This is where I, the favorite sister in the whole wide world, get a little vague. Mostly because the details have yet to be divulged. But I am sure Kim will fill us in on all of them in the Comments section where she is very good at taking over my blog posts.
What is known is that Kim ordered Southwestern Egg Rolls and something else. That she gabbed for nearly two hours about things in hindsight she realizes should never be divulged on first dates. If at all. To Kim's credit, she did not kiss the man good-bye in the parking lot, like she has been known to do on other blind lunchtime first dates.
Finally, after paying the bill, Grettir had to drag himself away, back to his place of employment, where he was most likely questioned as to why at the late hour of 3:30 PM he was returning from lunch. Though certainly he made up some excuse like having to stop by the office of the Executive Vice President of International Global Operational Marketing Accounting and securing an insecure website router Internet connection breakage, or something.
When Kim finally returned to her favorite sister in the whole wide world at 3:30 PM, there was no time to play Nertz. Only time to discuss the surprising fact that her favorite sister in the whole wide world used to know Grettir, and that Grettir was not white-haired, balding and ugly.
Then it was to the computer where Kim made a quick stop to Grettir's LDSSingles profile. On this website, it is important to note that Kim is slyly masquerading as a bald, overweight pizza delivery person.
There was also a little time to visit Grettir's blog. The link to which should be included here, but the author of this tale, fears loss of readership. For when you see a blog more well-written than my own, you may never return.
Kim visited and commented on the well-written blog. Which comment elicited other comments. Very soon there was more chatter than appears typical for the well written blog. Are Kate, Pam, Chris, or even Chronicler potential or previous dates of Grettir? Maybe some of them are not even single or female. Kim does not know and doesn't seem to care, unlike her favorite sister in the whole wide world, who is concerned that Kim provide Grettir with some privacy.
Not at all bothered by what others may think, Kim has challenged Grettir to post a summary of the date on his blog. Which she is certain at some point in the near future Grettir will do. In the meantime, Grettir is milking the situation, enjoying the increased traffic to his blog as Kim and soon all of you will be repeatedly checking in. Searching for some sort of reply.
Kim, committed (threatened?) to post her own version of the date. Not on her blog mind you. For why would she need a blog when she has the blog of her favorite sister in the whole wide world. So that is why you are reading this here.
The End.
Thank you to www.uncommonnotions.blogspot.com
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
UNCOMMON NOTIONS VERSION part 1 - MY BLIND DATE
originally posted at www.uncommonnotions.blogspot.com
Once upon a time in a land called Orem, I worked at a company called...(I can use first person here, because I am not in the love story. This is only the Forward. Sorry, did I lead you astray? Let me clarify, the romantic lead in this little number is my baby sister. Ah, yes, DH exhales slowly in a sigh a relief.)
Anyway, no matter to the name of the company, what is mildly important to the story is that at this company there was a fellow employee named Grettir. Of course, that was not the name by which I had come to know him, but it is his Internet veil of secrecy name. So for his future career and his innocent family's sake I will comply. Now Grettir seemed to be a fine employee. One that did his work well and never stole office supplies.
What...Uh, huh...Oh, sorry. According to my sister this is supposed to be her side of the story, yet it is sounding a great deal like my side of the story. Silly me. It being my blog and all, apparently I was a little presumptuous.
Now why this tale cannot take place on eHarmony, or LDSSingles I have no idea at all. But for whatever reason it is being played out here. In blogland.
So now we'll begin at my sister's beginning. We'll call her Kim, as that is her name and she is not well enough versed in 14th century Icelandic literature to have a better nickname. Kim from New York state was visiting her favorite sister in the whole wide world. She was having a lovely time in Utah, shopping at IKEA, hiking above Sundance, and eating for free at Bajio Mexican Grill as much as possible.
Then Kim's sister-in-law (Yes, Kim has been married, but her husband died 2 1/2 years ago. Since this is a love story and not a tragedy we'll tell that drama another time.) So anyway, Kim has a sister-in-law DW (we call her that for somewhat obvious reasons, none of which have anything to do with the PBS children's show Arthur). DW thought Kim should be set up on a blind date. Kim's favorite sister in the whole wide world agreed with Kim that this was probably an inefficient way to spend her few short days in Utah. After all, there were still Nertz games to play.
Nevertheless DW can be very persuasive. With a specific person in mind for Kim's vacation blind date, she petitioned that there was this poor soul of a divorced man who had not been on a date since before iPods were invented. Kim, having a tender heart replied, "Then why would I want to go on a date with him?"
Raving about the potential blind date's sense of humor, DW tried to convince Kim that such a set up would not be too painful. Wisely still hesitant, Kim inquired as to the potential blind date's appearance. Because Kim is young and beautiful, she has a right to have certain standards as to outward beauty in addition to standards for a sense of humor.
DW gave what was definitely a wrong answer. She explained that she is the "worst person to ask" regarding whether or not someone is, shall we say, cute. DW said she gets to know a person and they are so wonderful, yada yada yada, she doesn't even know if they (that is the potential blind date specifically) is good-looking or not.
With this bright, glaring red flag, Kim was understandably more than hesitant to commit to a date. Then DW played the pity card. Poor broken-hearted potential blind date man. Simply needs a little outing. One short date to get him back in the saddle again.
"Make it an afternoon lunch," was Kim's final and only offer.
Once upon a time in a land called Orem, I worked at a company called...(I can use first person here, because I am not in the love story. This is only the Forward. Sorry, did I lead you astray? Let me clarify, the romantic lead in this little number is my baby sister. Ah, yes, DH exhales slowly in a sigh a relief.)
Anyway, no matter to the name of the company, what is mildly important to the story is that at this company there was a fellow employee named Grettir. Of course, that was not the name by which I had come to know him, but it is his Internet veil of secrecy name. So for his future career and his innocent family's sake I will comply. Now Grettir seemed to be a fine employee. One that did his work well and never stole office supplies.
What...Uh, huh...Oh, sorry. According to my sister this is supposed to be her side of the story, yet it is sounding a great deal like my side of the story. Silly me. It being my blog and all, apparently I was a little presumptuous.
Now why this tale cannot take place on eHarmony, or LDSSingles I have no idea at all. But for whatever reason it is being played out here. In blogland.
So now we'll begin at my sister's beginning. We'll call her Kim, as that is her name and she is not well enough versed in 14th century Icelandic literature to have a better nickname. Kim from New York state was visiting her favorite sister in the whole wide world. She was having a lovely time in Utah, shopping at IKEA, hiking above Sundance, and eating for free at Bajio Mexican Grill as much as possible.
Then Kim's sister-in-law (Yes, Kim has been married, but her husband died 2 1/2 years ago. Since this is a love story and not a tragedy we'll tell that drama another time.) So anyway, Kim has a sister-in-law DW (we call her that for somewhat obvious reasons, none of which have anything to do with the PBS children's show Arthur). DW thought Kim should be set up on a blind date. Kim's favorite sister in the whole wide world agreed with Kim that this was probably an inefficient way to spend her few short days in Utah. After all, there were still Nertz games to play.
Nevertheless DW can be very persuasive. With a specific person in mind for Kim's vacation blind date, she petitioned that there was this poor soul of a divorced man who had not been on a date since before iPods were invented. Kim, having a tender heart replied, "Then why would I want to go on a date with him?"
Raving about the potential blind date's sense of humor, DW tried to convince Kim that such a set up would not be too painful. Wisely still hesitant, Kim inquired as to the potential blind date's appearance. Because Kim is young and beautiful, she has a right to have certain standards as to outward beauty in addition to standards for a sense of humor.
DW gave what was definitely a wrong answer. She explained that she is the "worst person to ask" regarding whether or not someone is, shall we say, cute. DW said she gets to know a person and they are so wonderful, yada yada yada, she doesn't even know if they (that is the potential blind date specifically) is good-looking or not.
With this bright, glaring red flag, Kim was understandably more than hesitant to commit to a date. Then DW played the pity card. Poor broken-hearted potential blind date man. Simply needs a little outing. One short date to get him back in the saddle again.
"Make it an afternoon lunch," was Kim's final and only offer.
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