HAPPY THANKSGIVING

It was an interesting Thanksgiving this year. I was very pensive and reflective. I was very much longing for "home". Longing for time with my sisters and parents (you too baby bro - but you are far far away). I spent a lot of my day thinking how things have changed over the past six years.

My mother-in-law used to live in town and holidays were always spent with her. She moved about a year after Chris' passing. Since then I have had an assortment of different ways to spend my holidays. I have had some with just me and the kids, one with my family, and others with friends.

I spent time wondering what I wanted. How did I want to spend my holidays - and wondering what the future would bring in terms of traditions. Would my kids feel as though we had any - or was the change so constant they won't be able to identify any traditions? Every year has been different. I may think I am going to start a tradition, but it only lasts a year or two. Is it time to settle in and create some substance? Some traditions? I think it is.

EASTER

Sometimes I don't feel like playing the role that parents should play on holidays. When it is late and the kids are in bed and I should be busily getting ready for the next day...

The house is quiet and in those moments of stillness I miss the company... the companionship of doing it with someone. Or the ability to make someone else do it. Or the complaining that I have to do it. :)

Last Easter my kids walked to the Hallmark store and bought me a present and some candy. They made me an Easter Basket and hid it. I had no idea. In moments like that, I thank God for giving me such good kids.

I love these kids. I love that I can still see their father in them. I love that they are patient (sometimes) with my inability to be the perfect mom and dad at the same time.

I am grateful that I have them to force me to celebrate the holidays!

HE LIVES!

My Savior. My Redeemer.

He has walked by my side and carried my burden when it was too much for me alone.

He has heard and answered my prayers.

He never leaves us, we only leave Him.

VALENTINE'S DAY

Let's face it... there ARE a few advantages to being widowed. So, here is a list of the pro's and con's of being a widow on Valentine's Day....

PRO'S
*No one buys me a useful gift, like a bathroom scale, for Valentine's Day. In fact I can buy myself whatever I want, and if I splurge there is no one to 'justify' the expense to.
*I don't have to listen to anyone complain about what a 'crock' the holiday is
*I don't have to find a perfect gift to give
*I don't have to wonder if my husband will even remember to do something
*I don't have to cook a nice meal. I can have a bowl of cereal or take myself out for steak... the choice is completely mine
*I am not frustrated by the lack of preparation that went in to the day

CON'S
*My love... is not here