GETTING MY ACT TOGETHER

When I moved into this house I had the option to make some changes. The kids were getting older, and our new location put me 10 minutes further away from the lady who had been taking the kids before school. It also put me 10 minutes closer to work – so I really wasn’t too excited to cart the kids across town and extend what should be a shorter commute. I thought about it and figured the kids were getting older and perhaps it was very possible that if they were ready to go when I left for work, they would be able to catch the bus, which came just five minutes after I left for work.

The first day of school I took the kids and got them settled in their classrooms. The second day of school we were to pilot the new program. We were up and ready and the kids were all set to go. I left reminding them that they needed to be out front in five minutes. They assured me there would be no problem.

I kept my cell close to me for the first half an hour I was at work in case things did not go as expected and they missed the bus. No calls came – so I presumed all was well. At noon I decided to go home for lunch and catch up on some housework. As I was washing some dishes I saw a reflection in the mirror above the sink that appeared to be a child running across my back yard. It struck me as odd, as all the kids in the neighborhood should be in school. Any who were too young to be in school were too young to be all the way down at my house running around. I curiously turned and went to look around in the back yard to see if I did in fact see a child. I slid open the doors and walked out onto the back porch. I looked around and didn’t see anything. I turned to go back inside when out of the corner of my eye I saw something move. I stopped and turned. I couldn’t believe what I saw… It was my daughter!

In a panicked voice she began to recount a story of how they let school out early that day. I was stunned. She is the RESPONSIBLE one. No. No, they did not let school out early… why are you here? Then out of the bushes came my son. “She wouldn’t let me call you. I wanted to call you but she was afraid we would get in trouble and so she took the phone from me.” So we thought if we skipped school today, that would be BETTER?

I ordered the children to the car and signed them in for their last couple hours…

Yeah… I still don’t have it together.

YOU HAVE TO BE RICH TO BE INSANE

Losing your mind is not a luxury for the middle class.

My husband was always a dare devil. He found joy in high-risk type activities and "boy toys". I had lots of accidental life insurance on him. I don't know if it was my own insecurity or if my Heavenly Father was preparing me... but I always thought he would die early.

I would have been set for life, if he only died while out riding a four-wheeler or driving too fast down the road. One thing I never considered was that he would die from health issues. He was extraordinarily strong and very healthy. In fact when he first went to the doctor when he was having issues, his doctor told him not to worry about it - he was young and healthy "it's not like it's cancer." Or... it is!

When my husband passed... my life insurance policy was sufficient to pay off a couple bills, pay for the funeral and hospital bills. Then, I was on my own. A single mom with three kids to support and raise. I only took a week off of work. Then, we started to get on a schedule. I would get the kids off to school then get myself dressed up and head for work. I would cry the entire way there. When I would pull in the parking lot I would wipe the tears from my eyes, take a deep breath - and be glad my office was just off the back door.

I had a family to support. There was no time to let myself go completely off the deep end. I had to stand on the edge... half functioning... half crashing. I think I would have gone insane, completely insane, if I didn't have to remain in working order. Yes, you have to be rich to be insane... losing your mind is not a luxury for the middle-class.